


Found

by PhoenixSolo



Series: Til The End Of The Line [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Infinity War, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cap is kinky as fuck fight me, F/M, Pain Train, Rating has changed, Rating will change, Trigger Warning for Alcoholism, all aboard bitches, angsty af, choo choo motherfuckers, hard decisions, tags will change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-07-06 01:29:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15875700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixSolo/pseuds/PhoenixSolo
Summary: Mirrors on the ceilingPink champagne on iceWe are all just prisoners hereOf our own deviceEagles, Hotel California





	1. Prologue

SPRING 2019

_She runs through the battlefield, desperately searching for something. For someone._

_She finds her goal. They are standing in the middle of the field, untouched. He holds a boy, not quite two years old; both share dark hair and blue eyes. Metal glints off of the man’s left arm._

_“God—Bucky—JB—“ She sprints to them, arms stretched to wrap both in a desperate embrace._

_Bucky Barnes turns to give her a soft smile. “Not yet, love.”_

_And before she can complete the hug, they dissolve before her eyes._

Laila Evans woke up in a cold sweat, sitting up in her bed with a cry. Breathing heavily, she looked around her room in Avengers tower. 

It was empty and dark. Laila bolted out of bed, turning on her bedroom light. The room illuminated, she belatedly realized that FRIDAY would have turned it on for her. 

It had been a year since her world—everyone’s world—was torn apart. 

At Steve Rogers’ insistence, Laila had moved herself and her then almost 2 year old daughter into the tower in an effort to pick up the pieces. She was given her own apartment, one far better than her apartment in Queens, and access to everything. Stark had joked that she was an honorary Avenger. 

Nora was now almost three. Down the hallway, she was crying in her sleep and Laila scooted to her room. She picked Nora up and cuddled her close. “Come on, baby, let’s go watch some cartoons.” 

In the living area, Laila turned on Paw Patrol reruns for Nora and went into the kitchen. 

She opened a cabinet above the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey. She poured a shot and slammed it back, then poured another and slammed that one back too. 

It had been her routine for nearly a month. Two shots to fall asleep and two when she woke up in the middle of the night, then two the next morning to dull the headache and two at lunch. 

She smiled as the warmth of the whiskey comforted her and took away the pain. She knew it was only temporary but it was all she had now. Nothing else worked. 

She joined Nora on the couch to finish watching the episodes and that’s where they both fell asleep. 

That’s how Natasha found them in the morning: Nora asleep with a blanket over her and Laila with a shot glass in her hand.


	2. Hotel California

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Mirrors on the ceiling_   
>  _Pink champagne on ice_   
>  _We are all just prisoners here_   
>  _Of our own device_
> 
> Eagles, Hotel California

**SUMMER 2020**

“I’m worried about Laila, Steve.” 

Steve Rogers looked up from his newspaper to Natasha Romanoff’s concerned face. “Is she in danger?” 

“Not physically, but…” Natasha pulled a handle of cheap whiskey out of the recycling. “This is the third one this week.” 

“If I could get drunk, I would be as well,” Steve sighed. “How’s Nora?” 

Natasha lived on the same floor as Laila and would listen through the door. Every night one, if not both, of them would wake up screaming. Nora would cope by watching cartoons and curling up with a stuffed animal but Laila? 

She wasn’t coping well at all. 

She still met her obligations as a “member” of the team: domestic requirements such as keeping the place clean and cooking were always met and Nora was well taken care of. 

Laila, on the other hand, had lost her soft curves of motherhood; she was all hard angles and sallow skin. She had let her hair grow longer and it hung to her mid back but it had lost its luster and was equal parts gray and dark auburn. Her blue grey eyes always seemed lost and sad and her smiles never reached them. Natasha noted that had Nora not needed to be taken care of, Laila probably would stay in bed all day. 

“Still limited vocabulary, night terrors, bedwetting… all the trauma signs.” Natasha shrugged. “I’m out of my league here. I need help—SHE needs help.” 

“She’s a psychologist, wouldn’t she know what’s going on?” 

“It’s different when you’re diagnosing yourself. You can’t be objective about it.” Natasha pushed the newspaper down so she could see Steve’s face. “You promised Bucky you’d take care of her. You’re doing a piss poor job of it.” 

Steve narrowed his eyes. “Just what the hell—“ 

“I heard you promise Bucky you’d take care of her. Letting her drink herself through life is NOT taking care of her, Steven Grant Rogers.” Natasha put her hands on her hips. “Of all the things I’m good at, being relied on off the battlefield is not one of them. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing, Stark is busy, Clint is trying to take care of his own family and everyone else is gone. We need to do something before Nora winds up an orphan.” 

Truth be told, Steve had no idea what the hell he was doing. He was a soldier, not a counselor. Not even when he had lost Bucky the first time had he felt such a loss so keenly. Half the world had just... disappeared fifteen months ago. 

Yes, he had promised Bucky that he would take care of Laila. 

But he had no idea what that would actually mean. Steve had fallen for her the first time he’d seen her—when she had pepper sprayed him, actually—and her fire, her intelligence and her ferocious protection of her children drew him in to a black hole. 

He had not known the children were his best friend’s children. 

And when that fact became known, Steve had stepped back. The happiness of his friend was more important than his own, especially where Laila was involved. Steve would rather sit and stew in his loneliness and misery than see either of them unhappy. 

But Bucky was gone, as was one of her children. Laila had fallen into the deep depression of despair and loss. Most of the world had: suicide rates went up drastically. 

Steve could not deny that Laila was his responsibility at this point. While she may have been a functioning drunk, it would still affect Nora badly. 

Nora was the apple of Steve’s eye. Every day, no matter how gross, nasty, disappointed, angry or sad Steve was, he’d make a point to at least say “hi” to Nora. Her limited vocabulary included “Eeb” and she’d lift her hands to be picked up every time she saw him. 

“Okay, I’ll talk to her…” 

Natasha relaxed a little bit. “Soon, for the love of mike, because I’m about to dump everything—and you KNOW how I love my vodka.”


	3. Bat Country

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone)_   
>  _Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction_   
>  _My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone)_   
>  _No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention_
> 
> Avenged Sevenfold, Bat Country

_—la!_

Bucky came to his senses on his stomach with something smacking the side of his face. He opened his eyes to a monochromatic scene: orange all around in varying shades. 

A tiny pair of shoes was in his face and Bucky followed the legs attached to the shoes to see the face of JB. The toddler smacked Bucky’s head again and babbled. “Dadadadada—“ 

“Hey, big guy, how did you get here?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Bucky realized that even if JB knew, he couldn’t answer. Bucky sat up and held open his arms for JB to crawl into. The boy did, sniffling. “Let’s go find Mommy and sissy, huh?” 

Buck stood up awkwardly as JB clung to him. As he walked, Bucky realized something: he had no fucking clue what he was doing as far as toddlers go. How was he going to feed JB? How would JB drink? How would he get cleaned up? 

JB fell asleep on Bucky’s shoulder as they walked and Bucky had the distinct feeling that JB may have done something in his diaper that Bucky didn’t know how he would fix. 

The boy was heavy too, Bucky found out. He sat for a while, letting JB sleep in his lap. 

He looked around. The...place...was infinitely orange. Sure, the shade and tint varied but it was all orange. 

Except for a dark spot on the...ground? Bucky left JB on the...floor? And walked over to the spot. 

It was that spider guy he had fought at the airport in Germany. _He’s just a kid._ The boy was no more than sixteen or seventeen and didn’t even have growth on his chin or under his nose. 

Bucky knew the youth on the kid belied the physical strength in that body. He bent and tapped the kid on his shoulder. “Hey, hey kid—“ 

The boy squished his eyes together, then opened one. “Jesus?” 

Bucky chuckled. “I’ve been called that before but no. Come on—“ He held out his left hand for the kid to grasp and pulled him to his feet. “So we’ve tangled and I still don’t even know your name.” 

“Are we using the made up names?” The boy asked, eyes wide with confusion. 

“No… I’m Bucky.” 

“Your mom named you Bucky?!” 

“No, no, that’s just what people call me—“ 

“Besides Jesus?” 

Bucky put his face in his hand. “NO. My name is James Barnes but people call me Bucky and I am not Jesus and this ain’t heaven.”

“I’m Peter Parker.” Peter shook Bucky’s hand and looked around. “Where are we?”

“I have no idea.” Bucky walked over to JB and scooped the still sleeping toddler up. “I woke up to this little guy smacking my face—“ 

“Aaawwwww—“ Peter moved to run his hand over JB’s dark locks.

“If you wake him, I will punch you— Anyways, I don’t know what’s going on, but I know that we should find people.” 

“Hey, HEY, there’s someone!” Peter pointed excitedly over Bucky’s shoulder. “HEY, OVER HERE!!” 

JB flinched in Bucky’s arms and clung to his father’s shirt. “Peter, I swear to Bast, I will END you if you wake him up—“ 

“Sorry—“ Peter stepped away and waved towards the direction of where the ‘people’ were. 

Bucky looked down at JB, who was staring at him with sleepy blue grey eyes. “Hey bud, you awake now? Wanna walk?” 

JB squirmed and Bucky set him down—and promptly chased the toddler as he took off in Peter’s direction. “Hey, come back here—!” 

The “someone” turned out to be one person: a child. She had green skin, reddish black hair and solemn, wide eyes. She canted her head curiously at Peter, Bucky and JB. “So he really did do it, then.” 

“Do what?” Peter questioned as Bucky picked up JB. 

“Okay wait, firstly: who are you?” The older man asked. “Secondly: where are we?” 

The girl smiled up at them, JB in particular. “My name is Gamora. We’re in the soul stone.”

“What—How?” Peter’s eyes bugged. “How can we be ‘in’ something like that?” 

“It’s more your spiritual essence, your soul, that’s in here. Your physical bodies are gone.” Gamora shrugged. “When Thanos snapped his fingers—“

Peter blanched. “We...we tried to stop him—“ 

“I know you did—but when he snapped his fingers, half the universe’s population...well, ‘died’ isn’t the right word for it.” 

Bucky unconsciously held JB closer. “Can we go back?” 

Gamora sighed. “Yes, but I haven’t figured out how beyond getting the glove from Thanos.” 

Something occurred to Bucky and he cut in before Peter could say something. “So if half the universe disappeared, where is everyone else?” 

“It’s a large space, Mr. Barnes, almost infinite. Eventually you’ll run into someone,” Gamora said dryly. 

JB burbled and Bucky caught a whiff of something foul. “Okay so I have nothing to clean him up with— huh?” 

“From what I know, a diaper change involves diapers and wipes,” Gamora wrinkled her nose and held out her hands. In them were a diaper and some wipes. “This is my world, I can make what I want.” 

“Okay I have no fucking clue what I’m doing—I’ve never changed a diaper in my life!” 

“Stand aside—“ Peter said theatrically. “I used to earn extra cash babysitting the neighbor’s boy. Let me show you—“ 

Five minutes, a diaper changing tutorial and one cleaned up toddler later, Gamora stared down at the dirty diaper. “I...I haven’t figured out how to make things disappear yet.”

All four jumped back as the diaper _schlooped_ into the floor. JB patted the floor where the diaper had been and gave Bucky a questioning look.

“Well that’s new—“ Gamora stated. “On the plus side, I think I figured it out: I told it to ‘go away’ and it did.”

“Hm—Peter, just let him go pantless, he’s not gonna sit still—“ Bucky put his head in his hand. “Okay so if you can literally do what you want here, why don’t you just send us back?” 

“It’s not that simple, Mr. Barnes,” Gamora sighed. “I’m still bound by the stones.” 

JB ran over to Bucky and clung to his father’s legs. Bucky reached down and picked his son up. “Meaning…?” 

“Meaning I can’t just unmake what happened,” Gamora responded with all the attitude of a child being asked a question for which she didn’t know the answer. “I do know this: time is irrelevant here. I don’t know how long you’ve been here; for all we know, you’ve been here for seconds or for eons.” 

Peter looked over at Bucky, handing him JB’s pants. “So now what?” 

“We find some people and try to get back.” Bucky shoved the pants into a cargo pocket on his own, then turned and began to walk away. Peter caught up with them and Gamora followed with the reluctance of a child being dragged to the store when she didn’t want to go.


	4. My Name is Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Get up off your knees, girl  
>  Stand face to face with your God  
> And find out what you are _
> 
> Highly Suspect, My Name Is Human

“Laila?” Steve’s voice and a knock on the door that sounded like a heavy metal concert woke Laila up from a troubled sleep.

She flinched and shifted in her bed; the alarm was going off. Sitting up, she found Nora curled against her, asleep. A picture book lay across her belly and one arm was hooked around Princess Fluffy Kitty. Laila vaguely remembered buying Nora the stuffed calico cat for her birthday the previous month and Nora was smitten with all things cat. The damn thing went everywhere with Nora and the white patches on its fur were a dingy grey. She mentally made a note to herself to wash it.

Steve did a drum solo on the door again. “Come on, get up.” 

Laila tucked her blanket around Nora and got up to open the door. “What?” 

“I...I just wanted to check on you,” Steve said lamely. “You weren’t up with your alarm…”

She looked awful. Bags under her eyes, her long hair unkempt and greasy, her skin waxy and unwashed. Clothes stained with days of sweat and tears, Bucky’s dog tags nestled between her breasts. “I’m here.” 

Barely. “Please, just...get cleaned up and come get something to eat.” 

“Yeah, okay.” The door closed and Steve hung out for a few minutes to make sure that she didn’t crawl back into bed. 

The last almost three years had been rough on her emotionally. Hell, they’d been rough on him emotionally. 

But he knew that drinking the grief away wouldn’t be helpful in the long run. He’d tried. It didn’t help that he couldn’t get drunk because of the serum, but he’d tried. 

But Laila could and Steve knew from watching others that sometimes people made stupid decisions when they were drunk. 

Fifteen minutes later, Laila sat at the table, head in her one hand, a coffee in the other. Nora was awake and chattering brightly, eating cereal that Steve had frantically ran out and bought the night prior upon seeing they had none. 

“Big day, huh, kiddo?” Steve said, trying to initiate conversation. Laila flinched and took a sip of her coffee, sweetened with just a hint of milk. 

“Mommy says I have to go to school,” Nora babbled excitedly. “Gonna go and make new friends!” 

“School is a big step!” Steve agreed while pouring his own coffee. Nora hopped off the stool to go find the backpack Laila had purchased for her. 

Laila groaned. “...too goddamn LOUD…” 

“Shouldn’t have been drinking,” Steve said, a hint of pettiness in his voice. “You don’t want to miss her first day; here’s a Gatorade and some aspirin.” Laila downed the proffered pills and the drink. 

Nora came dashing into the room with her hand me down Lisa Frank backpack that Laila had insisted she buy for her. True to Nora, it had a cartoon face of a calico cat with a tiara. Nora wore a pink dress with black flats and Laila smiled at how adorable she looked. “Okay, baby, let’s braid your hair and I’ll get my shoes on.” 

Laila stood Nora in front of the mirror and spritzed some detangler in her daughter’s shoulder length almost black hair. As Nora chattered excitedly about what she was going to do today, Laila glanced up at the mirror. 

The contrast was mesmerizing. Nora was smiling, bright and bubbly, clean and happy. 

Laila was...tired and sad, worn down and shabby. 

_They should be here today._ Laila shook her head to clear out the intrusive thought but it worked its way back in. _I should be getting two kids ready for school._ Tears formed in her eyes as she brushed Nora’s hair. _Bucky should be here, too._

“Ow, Mommy!” Laila startled out of her thoughts and looked down. She had been brushing too hard and there was a knot on the back of Nora’s head that she hadn’t realized she was tugging. 

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry—“ Laila spritzed some detangler on the knot and worked it out. “Is that better?” 

“Yeah. Can we go now?” Nora asked excitedly. 

“Yeah, let me get my shoes and some coffee.” 

She didn’t notice Steve staring at her. He cleared his throat. “Do you guys mind if I come with?” 

Laila’s heart lurched but Nora looked fit to burst. “That would be so cool, Mister Steve!” The girl grabbed Steve’s hand and tugged him out the door. Laila followed without verbal protest, donning sunglasses to shield her eyes from the brightness of the day and clutching a cup of coffee for dear life. 

The school was three blocks away. Nora led the adults down the walk, chattering about how excited she was for school and to meet new friends. Steve hung back with Laila and Nora skipped ahead. 

“Big day, huh?” He asked again quietly. 

“Yeah.” 

“You excited, too?”

“I’m happy for her.”

Steve gave the woman a knowing nod. “Are you ready for it, though?” 

Laila flinched and Steve saw tears brimming. “I...I don’t know, Steve. It should have been both of them.” 

“I know, sweetheart, I know.” Steve moved to put his arm around Laila in a comforting gesture but she walked forward, not even noticing the movement or the diminutive. 

Nora had found a friend, a girl about her own age. The girl was holding on to her mother’s hand and clinging; she seemed terrified. Nora approached the girl cautiously. 

The girl’s mother looked up and Laila could see the uncertainty, then recognition in her eyes as they set on Steve. Slightly more relaxed, the other mother put a hand on her daughter’s shoulder and pointed in Steve’s direction. 

The girl turned and her eyes went as wide as dinner plates. She shrieked in glee and Nora grabbed her hand and pulled her to Laila and Steve. “Mommy, Mr Steve, this is Julie!”

Julie turned to Nora, eyes still wide and gasped: “your daddy is Captain Amewica?!” 

Laila nearly choked on her coffee. Nora’s face fell; she hung her head and shook it a little. “My daddy died when I was little. So did my brother. Mr Steve is my friend.” 

Julie canted her head as her mother came up to the group. “Who was your daddy?” 

“Julie Ann Ryder, that is rude as all get out!” Saved by the mother. The mother strode up and introduced herself as Sarah in a soft southern accent. “I’m sorry, she’s a nosy little thing—“ 

“It’s okay, I promise—“ 

Sarah looked at Laila with kind eyes; Laila could feel the other woman’s judgement. Sarah was dressed in a pink velour tracksuit and had brown hair streaked with blond piled on top of her head in a messy yet attractive bun; she also wore big white framed sunglasses and had massive gold hoops in her ears. Her nails were manicured the same pink as her tracksuit. 

All in all, Sarah appeared to be the kind of person to be nice, friendly even, in public but Laila was sure that as soon as she left, Sarah would run straight to the gaggle of soccer moms and gossip about the awful looking woman. Laila began to wish she had remembered to put some whiskey in her coffee.

The bell rang and Nora and Julie skipped hand in hand into the building. Sarah sighed. “She hasn’t been the same since her father died.” 

Ah. Similarities. “I’m sorry for your loss. When…?” 

“When half the world disappeared, my Ricky was on a flight from Chicago to here.” Sarah’s sunny demeanor saddened. “The pilot and copilot both disintegrated; no one was flying the plane and it crashed into the trade center. It was like 9/11 all over again,” she finished solemnly. 

And Laila was reminded that it wasn’t just her and Nora and the Avengers suffering losses. Everyone in some way had lost someone dear to them. The grand scale of the whole thing baffled her. 

When the world’s population was decimated, it spared no one. Privileged or poor, loved or lonely, no one was spared. Parents had watched their children dissolve in their arms; breadwinners had come home to an empty house. 

There were secondary consequences as well. As in Sarah Ryder’s case, a loved one was a casualty merely for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. His plane had crashed because nobody was flying it. There were reports of children or elderly dying because a caregiver had disappeared or a patient on the operating table coding because the doctor disintegrated. Animals died because their owners disappeared. 

Laila tried desperately to remember that she wasn’t alone, that there were others like her, but she just couldn’t. 

And it just made her feel worse.


	5. Brain Stew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I’m having trouble trying to sleep_   
>  _I’m counting sheep but running low_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Green Day, Basket Case

Bucky woke up to someone crying. It wasn’t a child’s cry; it sounded like a grown man. 

He opened his eyes to find the source. Sitting with his back towards Bucky was a fully grown man. A NAKED fully grown man. 

Bucky stood up to go check the man out—and found he could not. He looked down at his legs: chubby baby legs grew in place of his adult legs. Bucky fell onto his backside with a curse. 

The man turned around and it was like Bucky was staring into a mirror. He had his shaggy brown hair and square face but eyes that had more gray than blue in them. 

And then the man spoke. “Dad?”

 _Oh shit._ “JB?” 

A giggle sounded from Bucky’s left: he turned to find an ancient man with a shock of white hair and piercing blue eyes. The old man slapping his knee and laughing at Bucky. “Peter, is that you?!” 

The old man stopped laughing, blinked, then began laughing anew. “You—you sound like a man—and you—you have a baby body!!” 

Bucky crosses his chubby baby arms over his chest. “Have you seen yourself lately? You look like you’re two feet in the grave.” 

Peter sucked in air, preparing to laugh again. He lifted a hand to point and caught sight of the liver spots and wrinkles. “Wait—What—how?!” 

“I told you, time is irrelevant here.” An exasperated sigh directed Bucky’s attention behind him. All three males turned towards the direction of the sound. Gamora stood, still a child. 

“So what do we do?” Bucky asked, setting Peter to giggles again. “Peter, I swear—“ 

“Nothing. You just have to wait. The Stone is capricious like that.” Gamora shrugged. “It has a mind of its own sometimes and it gets bored. Since the Time Stone is in the gauntlet with it, they may communicate with each other or other stones to...play pranks or store things up.” 

“It’s not funny, Peter!” Bucky was getting aggravated. Back to Gamora, he demanded: “Can’t you just ask them to stop?!” 

“Sure thing, mister grumpy gills!” Gamora’s emotionless facade cracked and she smirked at the chaos. “But seriously, it may take a few.” 

She neglected to mention the bet she had with the Time stone. It won: the sergeant with the prosthetic arm really was adorable as an infant. They would be stuck like that until that stone decided it was time for everything to return to normal. 

“Minutes? Hours?!” Said infant threw up his cute hands in exasperation. 

“Oh I have no idea.” 

Bucky put his face in a chubby hand. “Oh my god, this is embarrassing…” 

“Oh no—I just remembered what you remind me of, Bucky—“ Peter wiped a tear from his eye. “This one cgi movie called Boss Baby—ow!” 

Bucky had walked over and smacked Peter upside the head. “Can it, old man.” 

A sniffle ended the exchange and Bucky looked over at the man that was his son. JB had his arms resting on his knees and his face buried into it. He was crying. Bucky crawled over to him and put a hand on JB’s massive arm. “Hey bud. We’re gonna fix this, okay?” 

JB wiped a tear from his eye and nodded, then held out his arms to Bucky. Bucky, seeing no other option, crawled up into his son’s arms and wrapped his own chunky ones around the man’s neck. “It’s okay, JB, we’re gonna figure this out. It may take a bit, but we will figure it out.”

Bucky felt JB nod against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around Bucky's baby body. The hug was oddly comforting and Bucky absently wondered if this is what a hug had felt like when he was a baby. 

“We should get moving,” Peter said, interrupting the moment. “Do you want upsies, sweetums?”

“Peter, I swear to Bast—“

Gamora suppressed a giggle. “Do you need a ba-ba?” 

“Is it nappy time, snookums?” Peter and Gamora dissolved into full blown laughter. “Do you need a diapey change?” 

“You two are going to regret this.” 

———

Some time later, everything was back to normal, only this time, JB was rather clingy. Bucky was more than willing to accommodate his son, patting his back and whispering gently encouraging words. “Hey, buddy, yeah that was scary, huh…” 

“...not as scary as you were—HEY!!” Peter dodged a kick Bucky had aimed for his shin. 

“Okay now that the fun and games are over, we need to seriously think about what we’re going to do here.” Bucky settled JB against his broad chest. The toddler was still traumatized from his ordeal and loathe to walk but Bucky was okay with carrying him for now. 

Seeing his toddler son as a grown man had been unsettling and Bucky was deeply saddened: his thoughts wandered to his daughter Nora and wondered if he’d see her and Laila again. 

“So I may have found some more people,” Gamora said after a few moments of closed eyes. “They’re this direction—“ She motioned in front of her. “We should get moving.” 

The “people” turned out to be the girl that had sided with him and Cap when they fought Tony. Wanda, that was her name. She looked absolutely terrified, arms wrapped around her chest and rocking, muttering to herself. She did not respond to Bucky putting his hand on her shoulder, continuing to rock herself. 

_She’s too sensitive for this…_ Bucky patted the girl on her back. “Hey kiddo, it’s okay.” 

“You can’t help her,” Gamora said solemnly. “This one is more broken now than you ever were.” 

“Come on, Wanda, let’s get going.” Wordlessly, the girl stood up and trailed Bucky, eyes wide with horror. 

She trailed silently after Bucky, flinching slightly as Peter put his hand on her shoulder.


	6. Drowns the Whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Whiskey's supposed to drown the memory_   
>  _I've gone from one to one too many_   
>  _And the thing that really gets me_   
>  _Is how your memory drowns the whiskey_
> 
>  
> 
> Jason Aldean, Drowns the Whiskey

**EARLY SPRING 2023**

Laila lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, holding a nearly empty quart of whiskey. 

It had been three years since Nora entered school. She made friends easily; Laila, not so much. Laila preferred to stay at a distance from people she didn’t already know. Sarah had taken the hint after several blown off invitations and didn’t contact her much except for play dates. 

She took a drink, staring at the ceiling fan spinning lazy circles above her. Tears welled in her eyes as she thought about the last five years without them. Others had suffered losses as well and Laila felt like shit knowing that hers was hitting her harder than it was apparently hitting Steve or any of the others. 

She clasped the dog tags she had been wearing around for those five years. Bucky’s tags that he had pressed into her hand before that final battle. It was too hard to just… get over him or JB. 

But why? 

She was a psychologist. It shouldn’t be this hard. 

Laila took another swig of the whiskey. She didn’t know what to do and it felt as if she had entered a downward spiral from which there was no perceivable escape. 

_What if… you just don’t come out of it?_

The thought snuck in unbidden. 

_Peace. You could be happy again._

A tear tracked down from her eye to the pillow under her head.

_You could see them again._

Laila shook her head from the thought. Her detached psychologist mind recognized the signs of severe depression and she sat up and stared at the flask. 

_I should stop,_ she thought. _I need to stop this._

The expert in her now realized that Sarah was only trying to help, to at least distract her from the overwhelming sadness and despair she was feeling and that Sarah and the rest of the world had been feeling.

The realization made Laila feel even worse. She downed the remainder of the whiskey through her sobs and threw the empty bottle against the wall. 

_How much longer can I take this?_

———

Steve sipped on some iced tea as Clint sat down; Clint’s daughter Lila wandered off to look at the books. Cooper sat sullenly on the couch, lost in his sketchbook. Nora was in school; Clint elected to homeschool his children. “This way, I know they’re close to home, to me. I can’t risk losing them too.” 

This visit of Clint’s to Stark tower wasn’t expected this particular day but it was welcome. Steve shook his friend’s hand and pulled him into a hug. He had been keeping up with phone calls and emails but both had decided it was time for a visit.

“How are you guys holding up?” Clint asked gently. “How’s…” The question trailed off but Steve knew who he was asking about. 

Laila was sick again. Steve knew it wasn’t an actual illness and suspected that she had begun drinking again but he couldn’t prove it. He made a mental note to remove the alcohol from the kitchen on this floor and talk with Laila again. “She’s fine.”

“She’s not fine, Steve.” Clint sighed and crossed his arms. 

“You got all that from me in ten seconds and two words?” Sometimes Steve forgot how talented his friends were. 

Clint shrugged. “Nat told me.” Nat was on missions for Tony, collecting various world leaders and bringing them in on whatever plans were going on. She was due in the following month for some type of vacation. 

“What about you? How’s it going since…” Desperate to change the subject, Steve had nearly forgotten that Clint had lost his wife and youngest son in the aftermath of Thanos’ snap. 

“We’ve...well, we’ve been better, haven’t we, Coop?” The teen grunted. “It’s hard to explain to kids Nora’s age what exactly happened and how.” Clint placed an affectionate hand on Cooper’s shoulder; Steve noticed that Cooper’s eyes were red, as if he had been crying. 

Before Steve could stop himself, he opened his mouth. “I don’t know what to do, Clint. She’s everything to m—to Bucky and I don’t want to see her do this to herself or Nora but I don’t know how to stop it.” He scrubbed his face with his hand. “I’ve been getting Nora up for school and getting her breakfast for the last week.” 

Clint picked up on the cut off word but didn’t say anything regarding it. “She’s still grieving, Steve. People process grief in different ways; we just have to help her find a...less self destructive way.” 

A knock on the door interrupted everyone’s reverie. Clint got up to answer it. 

A short, heavy set man with light brown skin and glasses was at the door. Beside him was a girl, slightly taller than him; she had shoulder length wavy brown hair and skin the color of milk chocolate. “Hello, um, I’m Doctor William Foster. I’m looking for Tony Stark?”

———

“Dr. Foster.” 

“Mr. Stark.” 

If looks could kill, the two men and everyone in the room would have been dead on the spot. As it was, Steve thought he felt the temperature drop several degrees as Tony gave Dr. Foster a once over. 

The girl, Ava Starr, refused to shake Tony’s hand or even look at him. “I’m here because of Dr. Foster. That doesn’t mean I have to be nice to you,” she said in a clipped British accent. 

“Ava, be cordial, at least—“ Dr. Foster put his hands in his pockets. “Look, we don’t get along, I recognize that—“ 

Tony scoffed. “Your friend tried to steal research—“ 

“My father would NEVER—“ Ava started to say but Dr. Foster cut her off with the wave of a hand. 

“—but we have bigger issues than our squabbling. In case you haven’t noticed, anyways…” Dr. Foster continued, nonplussed. “Ms Romanoff came to us for help and told us the basics. Ava and I may have an idea.” 

Before Tony could absolutely ruin anything, Bruce cut in. “Let’s hear it. I’m open to anything.” 

“Well, I’ve detected an anomaly in the quantum void, a life reading if you will.” Dr Foster pulled out some kind of instrument that looked suspiciously like an iPad and pulled up something that resembled a nebulous blob. With a few taps, he opened it to reflect on the wall. “So this is what I picked up the other day—“ 

On the wall, the blob moved and shifted, blue and white. “Those colors represent the general quantum realm. It’s lifeless—“ 

And then the blob shifted again to reveal a reddish orange spot. “Except for THAT.” 

Stark blinked. “Is that what I think it is—?!” 

“Enlighten us, Tony, we don’t all speak science,” Clint said dryly. 

“That...that’s a PERSON.” Tony stabbed his finger at the wall. “What the hell is a person doing in the goddamn quantum realm?!” 

“That’s what I was wondering too.” Dr Foster said, nodding. “Then I remembered that Scott Lang—“ 

“Oh, he didn’t,” Stark gasped mockingly. 

“I don’t know how long he’s been in there but Ava and I have a plan to get him out.” Foster pulled out a roll of blueprints. “If we can get him out, we may be able to…” 

The absentminded comment trailed into silence, then it hit Stark at once. “We may be able to bring them all back!” 

“Well, that’s the short version anyways—hey!” Foster jumped back as Stark grabbed the blueprints and dashed to his lab. 

Bruce was hot on his heels, apologizing to Foster profusely. “Just—come with us—“ The doctor did so. 

Steve stood up to follow; Clint out a hand on his shoulder. “Do you REALLY want to go into that lab?” 

“No—“ 

“So don’t. Laila needs you more than they do.” 

Relieved, Steve nodded. “Yeah...yeah. I have to get Laila up and moving.”

———

The room was pitch black. 

“Laila, you’ve got to stop this,” Steve said while throwing open the curtains. 

She flinched and groaned under her blankets. “...head hurts...g’way—ow!” 

Steve yanked the blanket off of Laila, revealing her in a t shirt and shorts that probably had not seen a cleaning in a week. She’d probably not bathed in about that as well; Steve’s super senses detected body funk and cheap whiskey. 

At his wits’ end, he grabbed the mattress and flipped it, catching it before it fell onto Laila. She fell on the floor with a startled cry; Steve dropped the mattress back on the boxspring, circled the bed and hauled Laila to her feet. She protested weakly as Steve dragged her to the bathroom attached to her room and dropped her in the tub—fully clothed—then turned on the water full blast. 

Laila shrieked then spluttered a little as the cold water hit her head. She tried to get out of the shower but Steve held her with one hand and grabbed a container of shampoo and dumped it on her. He turned her around so her chest was against the wall and pinned her between her shoulder blades, then used his other hand to massage the shampoo into her greasy and lank hair. “You reek—hold still or I’m gonna get it in your eyes!—and the room smells of booze and sweat. If you don’t STOP this, you’re going to lose Nora—“ 

Struggling the whole time, Laila froze as soon as her daughter’s name hit her ears. Head throbbing, she looked around.

“The fuck—?!“ 

“You’ve been out of it for a week. I’ve been taking care of Nora. She’s safe—shit!” Steve had dropped the soap and let go of Laila temporarily to grab it. 

Still fully clothed but still somewhat out of it, Laila reached out of the tub to grab a towel. She struggled out of the tub and ran for the door.

Steve slammed it closed. “Wake up, Laila—! You’ve been drunk since—I don’t even know _how long!_ Your daughter is EIGHT and you’re missing out on her life!” 

Laila shrank against the wall, holding the towel to her soaked shirt, eyes wide and brimming with tears. 

“You’re a grown woman, Laila!” Steve’s voice took on a note of desperation. “I know you miss them—I miss them too—but you’re killing yourself!” _You’re killing me, too—_ He grabbed Laila’s shoulders and shook her a little, as if trying to wake her from her stupor. 

“Captain Rogers, your presence is required in the conference room.” Friday’s light Irish lilt came through the intercom. 

“Please, Laila...please—“ Before he realized it, he put a gentle hand on her cheek. “I’ve lost Bucky, I don’t want lose you too…please, just...just stop drinking...” 

Before Laila could say anything, Steve removed his hand from her face, opened the door and left. She slid down the wall, hand over her mouth. 

_What have I done?_


	7. Chop Suey!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Wake up_   
>  _Grab a brush and put a little (makeup)_   
>  _Hide the scars to fade away the (shakeup)_   
>  _Hide the scars to fade away the_   
>  _Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?_
> 
>  
> 
> System of a Down, Chop Suey!

Wanda trailed behind Bucky and Peter not unlike a puppy, whispering to herself. “...it’s my fault...I could have stopped it…”

“What do you think she’s talking about?” Peter asked Bucky in a low tone. 

“I’m not sure,” Bucky replied. “But I think it may have something to do with us and where we’re at.” 

They’d been traveling for some time, Wanda muttering the whole way. The young woman walked, hunched over and hugging herself. Gamora stared at her, unsure of what to do. 

Bucky put JB down, who squeaked in protest and wandered over to Peter when the latter began playing peekaboo, and turned to Wanda. He put a hand on the girl’s shoulder, jumping back a little when she shrieked. 

“I could have stopped this!” She put her head in her hands and sank to her knees. “I should have destroyed that stone when I had the chance!” 

Bucky looked at Gamora questioningly and it clicked. “Wait—are you talking about one of the infinity stones?” The child asked. 

“Yes—the yellow one—“ 

Gamora shook her head solemnly. “What good would it have done? He’d have done what he did anyways and used the time stone to get it back.” 

“But he did that anyways,” Bucky responded, utterly confused. 

“You’ve made my point.” _Why are adults such morons sometimes?_ Gamora cast a wry glance at JB, who made some attempt to shrug his shoulders. “If you had destroyed it, he’d have still turned time and repaired it. It’s a cyclical argument.” 

Wanda didn’t respond; she just buried her head in her arms and sobbed louder. 

“Look, you can rehash what happened over and over again but it’s not gonna fix what’s GOING to happen.” Bucky pulled Wanda to her feet. “We need to find a way out and we aren’t going to stick around while you’re stuck in some emo teenager phase. If you want to help, _move your ASS._ ”

Wanda’s eyes went wide and Bucky got the feeling that someone else had told her that at some point. She nodded shakily, jaw set in determination. 

The group kept moving and other beings, human and nonhuman, joined the group. Bucky felt like a shepherd guiding a lost flock; it now consisted of himself, Wanda, Peter, Gamora, JB, an older man and woman with the last name of Pym and Van Dyne respectively, their adult daughter Hope, several very sad and confused looking dogs, cats and other assorted animals and a tree like creature with the attitude of a teenager and the vocabulary of someone slightly older than JB. 

“I am Groot?” The tree asked when the group stopped. 

Bucky shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re saying, buddy, but I’m gonna get. You just tell me when I hit right.” 

The group had discovered that while the tree could not speak directly to anyone, it could understand everyone. They had found this out when Henry Pym, the scientist, had leaned to his wife and said “I wonder if it would let me run some tests on it.” 

The tree had responded with an angry “I am GROOT!!” And stalked off to the opposite side of the caravan. 

Presently, Bucky asked the tree: “Do you need to stop?” 

It shook its head. 

“Did you see something?”

The tree nodded. “I am Groot.” It pointed off in the distance towards a lone moving spot. Another person. 

Bucky handed JB, who had fallen asleep, to Peter “Hold him—“ and walked to the spot, stretching his natural arm. _Toddlers make for good isometrics,_ he decided. 

The spot turned out to be T’challa. Bucky held out his hand to shake the other man’s hand and the king pulled him into a hug. “I am glad to see you, Bucky. What is going on?” 

Bucky shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine, but we have someone who may be able to explain it better.” He led T'challa to the group and towards Gamora, who was in a heated argument with another newcomer, a tall man with a goatee and a cape. 

“This is NOT another dimension and you can NOT just make your own rules here!” 

The man rolled his eyes. “You’re just a child, so I don’t expect you to understand magic.” 

“Look, Doc, she probably knows more than anyone here—“ Peter shifted the now awake and crying JB to his other arm and stood between Gamora, then recoiled slightly as Doc whirled on him. 

“You weren’t even supposed to be there, kid—“ 

“Take it easy, everyone—“ Bucky raised his hands in an ‘everyone calm down’ gesture. “I don’t know who you are but that kid—“ he pointed to Peter, “—is right about that kid—“ he pointed to Gamora, “—probably knowing more than you.” Bucky gathered JB in his arms and shushed him, then put him down. “She’s the Soul Stone. I don’t know how but she is and not acknowledging that could be bad for your health.” 

“Firstly, sir,” the man sneered. “I’m Doctor Strange, the guy that makes life a hell of a lot easier for Earth by dealing with the supernatural—hey!” 

Strange had found himself waist deep in the orange material that served as the ground, his hands at his sides. He was trapped face to face with Gamora, who lifted a ruby eyebrow at him. “Okay, kid, you win, for all the good that it’ll do you.” 

“Before I let you out, understand some things.” Gamora held out her hand, counting a finger for each point she made. “I can’t send you back, your magic is intermittent and unpredictable and I’m not going to take any shit while you’re here. Deal?” 

“Fine.” Strange found himself back on his feet. “In the meantime, what do we do?” 

Bucky shook his head. “Not sure. We do have scientists and—what are you, a ringmaster?—so maybe we can figure something out.” 

Strange bristled at the ‘ringmaster’ comment but held his tongue on whatever he planned to say. “Scientists? Where are they?” 

And thus, the Pyms and Hope were introduced to Dr Strange. Bucky wandered away from the meeting of the minds to stare out into the open, infinite orange wasteland. 

As he looked out, something tugged at his pant leg. He looked down to see JB lifting his hands to be picked up. Bucky obliged him and JB cuddled into him, babbling toddler nonsense.

“Yeah, I know, buddy. I miss them too. We’re gonna see mommy and sissy again.” 

JB babbled back. Bucky had no idea what he said, so he started his own conversation. “What does mommy look like? Well, she’s about three ounces of whoop ass, with dark red hair and the most beautiful blue eyes.” JB giggled as Bucky lifted him up over his head. “She’s smart, she’s kind and most important, she’s your mommy.” Bucky tossed JB gently into the air and caught him, then bent and dumped JB so his head was almost touching the floor. JB squealed with glee. 

“She’s a fighter, too. I’m sure they’re fighting to get us home.” 

_We’re coming, baby._


	8. Broken Halos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Seen my share of broken halos  
>  Folded wings that used to fly   
> They've all gone wherever they go   
> Broken halos that used to shine_
> 
> Chris Stapleton, Broken Halos

**MID SPRING 2023**

Laila tucked Nora in, making sure to leave the princess night light on. She planted a kiss on her sleeping daughter’s forehead and made sure Princess Fluffy Kitty was nestled under her arm. 

This was the day. The end. 

She couldn’t take it anymore. Steve was gone on some type of mission for Tony and would be back tomorrow and the loneliness and despair were overwhelming. 

Every day for the last five years since Bucky and JB died was torture emotionally and some days, Laila couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed. The alcohol helped some but lately, it wasn’t enough. 

She spent the whole day sober, just for Nora. They went to the park, the museum, anything that Laila could think of to try to give herself a reason to continue, to carry on. 

Despite Nora’s happy face and her excitement at spending a weekday out of school, Laila couldn’t find a reason. 

She left Nora snoring in her room and made sure that she was safe, then Laila made her way to her bedroom and grabbed the whiskey from its place in her drawer. There was half a bottle left. 

She took a long slug and carried the bottle to the balcony. Tenth floor, short jump, they’ll find me… Before the whiskey kicked in, Laila wrote Nora’s name and the apartment number, plus Steve’s number on her arm in sharpie, along with “I couldn’t take it anymore”. 

She downed another slug of whiskey and stared at the skyline of New York City. _How long would it take to die? Would it be instantaneous?_

_Nora will be okay with Steve. Clint will help too._

She chugged the rest of the whiskey and put the bottle on the balcony. _Come on, kick in, dammit._

She stood on shaky legs to see if the whiskey had gotten into her system. It did and Laila used one of the chairs to stand on the ledge, gripping the railing above her in support. 

_It’ll be so easy. You just have to let go—_

And she did. 

Before she could begin falling, a pair of strong arms seized her around the waist and pulled her back. Laila and the body belonging to the pair of arms fell onto the balcony in a tangle of limbs. She picked herself up off the deck to find—

“Steve—?!”

“Goddammit Laila, what were you thinking?!” Steve sat them both up and put both hands on Laila’s shoulders. She burped and Steve smelled the whiskey on her breath. _Thank god the mission ended early—_

“Fucking hell, Steve, just—just let me go—“ 

“Not a chance.” Steve’s eyes caught the writing on Laila’s arm; he grabbed her wrist and turned it over and stared solemnly. “Oh Laila…” He crushed her to his chest and the reality of what she had nearly done hit the both of them hard. Laila curled up against Steve and he backed against the wall with her in his arms. 

She began sobbing against the man’s broad chest. “I...I can’t do this anymore, Steve—I miss them so much!” 

“I know, sweetheart, I know it hurts. I miss them too.” Steve murmured gently into her hair. “Tony has a theory—“ 

“FUCK Tony—! FUCK Foster and their goddamn theories!” Laila pushed herself back from Steve’s chest. “They’re GONE, Steve! It’s been so long—they’re not coming back!” 

Steve looked at Laila with hurt and sadness in his eyes, then pulled her to him again. “I’m not giving up hope.” 

Laila froze, then pushed away from Steve again and dashed inside. Steve stood up and followed Laila, who rushed to the bathroom and fell to her knees in front of the toilet. He pulled her hair out of the way and Laila threw up everything she had drank into the toilet; Steve wrinkled his nose at the smell. “Have you even eaten anything today?” 

Laila shook her head then vomited again. Still holding her hair with one hand, Steve rubbed her back with the other and whispered encouragements: “get it all out of your system, that’s it, atta girl, there you go…” 

When Laila was sure that her stomach was empty of everything it could have been holding, she stood up— 

—and collapsed into Steve’s arms. Steve guided her to the sink and watched silently as she brushed her teeth and braided her hair. He took her to the kitchen and made her a bland sandwich and a glass of water. “Eat something. If that comes back up, I’ve got saltines.” She ate it and drank the water silently and it all stayed down. 

Then he guided her to her room. “I...I don’t want to be alone tonight, Steve.” 

He nodded. “You shouldn’t be alone. Let me get my clothes and a towel; I need to shower.” 

Still buzzed from the alcohol that had made it into her bloodstream, Laila thought briefly about what Steve would look like naked then shook her head. He was her roommate and a good friend but nothing more. She lay on her bed, hugging her pillow to herself, and was asleep before Steve left for the shower. 

He stood over her, watching with a mixture of sadness and anger. She had a young daughter, how DARE she try and leave that child motherless?! 

He wanted nothing more than to take Laila into his arms and just...hold her. Take away the hurt and pain and sorrow she was feeling. Yes, he may have known Bucky longer but this woman was Bucky’s everything, from what Bucky had told him. She had silenced the demons in his head, even if only temporarily, and she loved him with the intensity of a million stars. Bucky had returned that love and had given her two beautiful children.

One of whom was gone.

Just like Bucky. 

Resisting the urge to crawl in bed with her, Steve pulled back the comforter and tucked Laila in, much as she had done to Nora two hours prior.

Complete with the kiss on the forehead. 

Steve spent the next few hours cleaning up Laila’s room. He pulled several bottles of finished or half finished liquor and disposed of them, then put her laundry in a pile to be done the next morning. It was too late to vacuum but the floor was visible and could be finished later. 

Then he pulled the blanket and pillow off of his bed and curled up on the floor of her room between the bed and the door. 

———

Over the next few weeks, Steve watched Laila. He didn’t take any missions, didn’t accept any assignments and refused anything other than assistance for Laila. He cleared anything alcoholic from the communal kitchen, placing Natasha’s stash under her bed and dumping everything else. 

Tony reluctantly understood after several phone calls. Frustrated, he asked Steve: “Cap, why is this woman so important to you?”

“She’s important to Bucky. I can’t let her go out like that.”

“Are you sure you aren’t doing it for yourself?” 

Steve had hung up on Tony when he asked that. 

Tony called again three hours later. “Do you need help?”

“I can manage a suicide watch, Tony. Don’t you have science shit to do?”

“Women have different needs.” It was Natasha over the phone. Steve had questions on why she was with Tony but those could be answered later. “I’m three blocks up the street, call me if you need me.”

Tony allowed Steve to place Laila on a rotating “suicide watch”. As he was the one who insisted moving Laila and Nora into the tower, Steve took the lion’s share; Natasha volunteered as well. At least one of them was present at all times, as well as Friday, Tony’s virtual assistant. They would stand or sit in the same room as Laila as she carried on about her day. Nora was confused at first but gleefully welcomed the new additions to their lives. They would help her get ready for school, with her homework, with tea parties for Princess Fluffy Kitty and her other stuffed animals. 

Laila was not permitted to prepare meals that involved chopping or cutting. Nora welcomed the influx of pizza, McDonald’s, macaroni and cheese and other child friendly, easy preparation meals when either Steve or Natasha were present, as neither could cook. Friday tried to create a meal plan but gave up when Nora would refuse to eat what it and the kitchen bots would prepare.

Laila was not allowed access to anything beyond children’s television shows and she was subject to a check up by Friday twice a day. 

None of them let Laila go anywhere by herself, save to the bathroom, and even then, she only got about three minutes. Everything medicinal, regulated or sharp was removed from the bathroom. 

Including Laila’s razors, which annoyed her to no end. She refused to go without shaving her legs but she was also too embarrassed to say anything to Steve about wanting to do so. She bought hair removal cream instead. 

It didn’t work out. 

Laila’s shriek could be heard in the living room.

Steve sat straight up in his chair, berating himself for dozing off. He tracked the sound to Laila’s bathroom and kicked open the door, expecting to see blood. 

Instead, Laila was sitting on the edge of the tub, wrapped in a towel and running her leg under the running water and scrubbing it furiously. 

“Laila, what—?!” 

Laila whirled, wet hair flipping into her face and towel sliding enough down her body to give Steve an eyeful of her naked side. She shrieked again as she tried to cover herself; a large red spot on her lower leg appeared and Steve lunged for her hand. He grabbed it and turned it over—to reveal a bath cloth. 

“What the hell are you doing in here, Steve?!” 

“What are YOU doing?!” 

“I’m trying to—well, I guess ‘shave’ isn’t happening because I have no razors—“

Steve released her wrist, embarrassed. “You know why you can’t have razors, Laila.” 

“Frankly, it’s better than the psych hospital. They’re pretty full.” Laila wrapped the towel tighter around herself. “I feel gross without shaving. It’s been weeks and while I get why you’re doing this, I’d really not like to have shaggy, hairy legs. So rather than argue, I bought a hair removal cream—which apparently I am allergic to.” She showed Steve the box. 

“Friday, verify—“

Friday’s voice: “No abnormal change in heart rate detected. Recommending temporary treatment of hydrocortisone to—“

“Thank you, Friday. I’ll—I’ll call Natasha—“ Red faced, Steve reached for his phone. Laila nodded, absolutely mortified. 

A few minutes later, Natasha showed up at the door. Steve waited in the living room while Natasha sat in the bathroom with Laila while she shaved her legs and her underarms, then trimmed her nails. 

“Okay, I’m glad you were one of the volunteers because this would have been really awkward with Steve,” Laila giggled. 

Natasha snorted. “He’s such a prude, I swear.” 

Laila snickered, then sighed. “How long does this watch last?” 

“You’re the psychologist, you tell me.” 

Laila lotioned up her legs. “Well… my personal standard is about three months or evaluation by a psychiatrist to determine if the patient is a danger to themselves.” 

“Do you feel you’re a danger to yourself?”

“Natasha, I tried to jump off a building.” Laila allowed Natasha to inspect her clothing then got dressed. 

“You’re depressed. To my understanding, that’s a normal reaction to trauma, right?” 

“Yeah, but…” 

“You still haven’t answered my question, Laila.” Natasha leaned against the sink. “Do you think you’re a danger to yourself?” 

“I don’t know.” Laila began running a brush through her dark auburn hair, noting the more abundant single strands of gray. “I still have thoughts, like what if Steve hadn’t come back from whatever he was doing when he did. Like, why did he save me, why am I worthy of your help, stuff like that, but I don’t have thoughts of hurting myself or others.” 

Natasha’s finely tuned ears picked up a barely audible sound from the hallway; someone was leaning against the wall. “Steve saved you because he cares about you, Laila.” 

Laila’s hand hesitated mid stroke, then picked up the pace. 

“We all care. You helped his best friend become himself again, of course Steve is going to care.” 

“Why, though? What makes me more worthy than anyone else?”

Visibly uncomfortable, Natasha squirmed. “Okay I’m not really good at this, so all things aside: Steve REALLY cares about you. He feels obligated to care for and about you because of Bucky; they were like brothers and Steve’s way of thinking is that he’s supposed to look after you. That’s why he moved you and Nora into the tower and that’s why he’s insisting on taking care of you two. It’s some kind of 1940s guy thing, I don’t know…”

Laila blushed, still braiding her hair. 

“You ever think of going out with him?” Natasha stood up and helped Laila put her hair into a French braid. 

“Yeah I’ve thought about it.” Laila clipped and filed her nails. “He’s a good person and I can’t deny that he’s attractive but what would he honestly see in me?” 

“That I can’t answer; I’m not him.”

“I do have to admit: that man is built like a Greek god.” Laila giggled. “He’s got a beautiful ass—“ 

“I’m not even going to ask how you know about his ass—“ Natasha snorted and watched as Laila put on the barest minimum of make up—eyeliner and lipgloss—and clean up her mess from the shower and nail trimming. “Feel better?”

“I feel human.” 

Natasha stood up. “I’ve got to get going. I will see you tonight for my watch—I found a new kid friendly movie for Nora. Ever hear of How To Train Your Dragon?” 

“Oh my gosh, I love that series!! I couldn’t afford it when it came out on DVD—“ 

“I’m...uh…’reappropriating’ Tony’s Netflix account. All three are up there and I think you both would enjoy them. Movie marathon?” 

“YES!!” 

Natasha moved to open the door. “Oh, and I’m going to definitely encourage you to get out more… say, with Steve… at this new Italian place in uptown?” 

Laila turned red. “If he asks me, I’ll go with him. Otherwise, I’m housebound until the watch is up.”

She didn’t notice the shadow quickly retreating down the hallway.


	9. Dancing in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Don't throw my name 'round here like that_   
>  _You could get us in some trouble_   
>  _Talking that way and_   
>  _Monday you got me that's a fact_   
>  _You could get me in some trouble_   
>  _Talking that way and_   
>  _I don't need nobody_
> 
>  
> 
> Imagine Dragons, Dancing in the Dark

**FALL 2023**

Laila woke up one day in a superb mood. For the first time in what seemed like eons, she was...happy. 

Nora was now in second grade and loving school; she had even made new friends. She and Laila were involved in family counseling and working on repairing their relationship. Laila had also gotten back in touch with Sarah, who had let out a little squeal when Laila proposed a play date. 

Laila had quit drinking as well and had begun therapy and a course of antidepressants. 

About two weeks ago, her restrictions were relaxed a little; she was no longer supervised 24/7. Either Steve or Nat still slept in her bedroom at night but Friday took over a portion of the day shift with a direct line to Steve or Nat. 

Nat has insisted on babysitting Nora while Laila had taken up on Steve’s offer of dinner at that Italian place; the evening had gone wonderfully. It was platonic and friendly and the food was delicious. They had gone on several dates since then, with the latest one the previous night. 

After which Steve had actually kissed her. 

It was more of a peck on the lips, really but it awoke emotions Laila had thought long gone with Bucky.

This morning, Laila rolled out of bed and began to make her way to the bathroom—

—and tripped over a large, fluffy lump on the floor. She fell ON the lump, which groaned and GRABBED her around the waist as she squealed and tried to scramble off of it. 

And revealed itself to be Steve Rogers. Sleep tousled and confused, he regarded Laila with a confused expression. “Did...did I miss something?” 

“Uh—“ 

Steve realized his hands were on Laila’s waist and released her, blushing under his beard. 

“What are you doing in my room, Steve?” Laila asked as she got off of him. “I thought Nat had watch tonight.”

“Nat got called away on a mission.” Steve said, voice still sleepy. He sat up and stretched. He was wearing an A shirt but Laila saw every lined detail of hard muscle and taut sinew. 

Her stomach clenched and she remembered the dreams she had the prior night. 

It had been a long time since she had been intimate with anyone; the last person had been Bucky, right before half the universe disappeared. 

Her primal side insisted—no, DEMANDED—she throw herself at anyone showing any kind of interest towards her, but she had avoided anything of that nature because… well, because of Bucky. 

Then everything had changed with the kiss. 

“Laila…?” 

She tore her eyes away from Steve’s chest and tried to focus on his face. The immaculately trimmed beard and tousled hair were not helping. 

Steve, for his part, stared back at Laila. Despite her sleep wrinkled clothes and the braid falling out of its ties—or perhaps because of them—Laila was beautiful. She had always been beautiful to him and strong, suicide attempt notwithstanding. One could only take so much pain. 

She held out her hand to pull Steve to his feet; he accepted and Laila blushed to see him in loose sleep shorts. Still holding her hand, he closed the distance between them and put his free hand on her waist. 

Thankfully—or perhaps poor timing—Nora chose that precise moment to come tearing into the room. “MOMMYYYY, I’m hungry and—hi Mr. Steve!—Julie two towers down wants me to come over after school and can I have pop tarts for breakfast?” 

Laila burst into Mom mode, face still red. “Okay—let me talk to Julie’s mom and we’ll see. It’s going to depend on your behavior during school.“ 

She got Nora dressed, fed and walked her to the school, then called Sarah and confirmed a play date. She sent Nora off running towards the school: “remember, if I get any bad calls from the school, play date is off, young lady!” 

With a hug, a kiss and a joyful wave, Nora ran off to school. 

Laila walked back to the apartment, lost in thought. 

_I’m just lonely,_ she swore to herself. _It’s because I’ve been celibate for so long._

Steve was Bucky’s best friend. Was it wrong to pursue anything, even just a friends with benefits relationship, with the best friend of her dead lover? 

She wasn’t sure. 

But she did know this: Steven Grant Rogers had been by her side through the worst parts of her life. 

Laila opened the apartment to the smell of coffee and— “Steve, did you cook bacon?!” Miracle man. 

No answer. She checked the kitchen and indeed there was a plate of bacon and a cup of coffee on the counter. She ate two slices and downed the coffee, then headed to the shower in her room. 

Coming out of the shower, she still didn’t hear Steve; his door was closed and Laila assumed he was showering. She walked to the living room—

—and into Steve’s massive, toned chest. 

His NAKED massive, toned chest. He was toweling off his hair and wore those same sleep shorts, looking hotter than any man had a right to.

He stared down at her and walked towards her, turning so he was backing her against the wall. “Steve, what are you doing—“ 

“I don’t know,” he whispered softly. 

“Kinda need an answer there…” Unsure of what either was doing, Laila gently pushed Steve and he backed up. 

“Laila—“ 

The dam, one that had been holding emotions back for several months, burst. “Damn it Steve, what kind of game are you playing?!” 

Steve flinched. “I’m sorry—“ 

“You’re sor—you’re SORRY?!” Laila threw up her hands in exasperation. “Sorry isn’t going to tell what the hell you're doing to me—!” 

“What about what you’re doing to me?” His voice went dangerously low. 

Laila stopped. “Huh?” 

“Every night since I met you, I’ve dreamed about you,” Steve whispered. “Every night for almost eight years, you’ve haunted my dreams.” 

Laila inhaled sharply, taking in his scent. It was pine, the smell of his soap. A distinctly alpha male scent. “Steve, I… I’m sorry,” she said lamely. What else could she say? 

“Stop me, if you’re so sorry.” Steve took a step towards her, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“Steve—“ Laila put her hands on his chest. 

“Stop me—“ He placed his palms on the wall on either side of her head. Laila knew that if any other person had done that, she’d have felt afraid—

—but this was Steve Rogers. He had been by her side through thick and thin for the last eight years, closer since Bucky—she didn’t want to think about that. She knew she was in good hands, either way this turned out.

“STOP me, damn it—“ 

Laila stared straight into those sky blue eyes: “No.” 

Then she grabbed his face with both hands and pulled him to her, meeting his mouth with her own with a clash of teeth. 

Steve took that as an invitation and moved his hands to Laila’s behind and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he pinned her against the wall with his body, then slipped a probing tongue into her mouth. 

Oh, how she missed Bu—this. This frantic display of hormones and frenetic making out against a wall for no other reason than they were ALIVE, they’d lived to see another second, another minute, another day. They’d live to see forever, god willing. 

Steve’s hand went under her shirt to fondle her breast while hers traced the hard muscle of his pectorals, then what she could reach of his abs. The man was a living piece of art, she’d decided long ago. He was beautiful in every sense of the word. 

And said piece of art began to grind his hips into her. “...god, I need you…” 

“—not here—“

“Bedroom?” 

Laila nodded and Steve pulled her off the wall and walked her down the hallway to her bedroom. He bumped open the door, then kicked it closed with his foot. 

Laila slid off of him (feeling his sizable erection along the way) and began stripping her shorts; Steve pulled off his shirt and grabbed her shirt by the collar, kissing her deeply. Not even bothering to remove his lips from her, he ripped her shirt open and she shed it as one would a vest. 

Abruptly, he broke the kiss and shoved Laila back onto the bed, lifting her legs and spreading them to gain access. 

Her damn underwear was in the way; Steve grabbed it by the hips and pulled it down. It tore and Steve ripped the offendingly inconvenient scrap off of Laila’s body. 

As Laila tried to get up, Steve was on her again, whispering in her ear. “Do you still want this?” 

She nodded. Steve fisted his hand into her still damp hair, tilted her face towards his and grated: “Tell me what you want—“

“You—Steve—please—“ 

He released her hair and shimmied down her body, nipping her skin here and there. He reached the apex of her thighs and set to _devouring_ her as if she was the finest delicacy on the planet. She grabbed his hair and cried out as he suckled on her clit. 

He wrapped her hands with his own, then gripped both wrists in one large hand, resting them on her abdomen. He ran his free hand down her hip and over her thigh then ghosted over her entrance as he stopped sucking and began to kitten-lick her nub. She lifted her hips into his face with a shout and he looped his arm around her leg and pushed her hips back to the bed. 

Steve released Laila’s wrists and, with the hand that wasn’t pinning her to the bed, slid a finger into her entrance. Laila gasped and her head rolled back; she grabbed the blankets by her head. 

He crooked the finger in her canal, curling it against the sweet spot and Laila’s eyes rolled back in ecstasy. “Fuck—“ 

Steve hummed into her entrance and reapplied his mouth to her clit, tracing something over it with his tongue. Dizzy from pleasure, Laila recognized it as the alphabet; she made it to G before her climax exploded. 

Steve licked her through it and when she was done, he disengaged from her, wiping his face. Before he could say anything, Laila sat up and pulled him to her. She kissed him deeply, savoring the tang of herself in his mouth, then moved her mouth over his chest and down his abs, nipping in random places and sucking bruises into others as she removed his shorts.

She reached his groin and took him in hand, then slowly slurped his prominent erection into her mouth; Steve groaned and grabbed the hair on the side of her head with one hand. “—oh baby, yes—“ Laila ran her hands up his body and he grabbed them with the other hand and held them in place then began to thrust into her mouth. “That’s it, Laila—take it—“ 

When she did, Steve thought he was going to explode. After several minutes, she hollowed her cheeks as he thrust and he felt his balls clench far too soon. He thrust harder when she moaned onto him, then he pulled out of her mouth with a hiss. “Shit—“ he swore as his climax splattered on her chest. 

He wasn’t finished with her, Laila found out when he gently but firmly pushed her onto the bed and settled himself into the cradle of her hips. Laila felt his hardness press against her inner thigh and wriggled to allow him access. He pushed himself up and placed one hand on her rib cage then used the other to align himself with her entrance and slowly pushed himself in. 

Both cried out and Steve pulled Laila’s hips towards his own as he thrust farther into her with a hiss. A massive hand holding her down, Laila lay on the bed as Steve thrust into her, grunting with every push. “—yes—yes—“

He leaned over her, changing the angle of his thrusts, and slammed into her at a faster pace. His breathing was ragged in her ear. “Is this what you wanted?”

“Oh fuck yes—“ 

“I want to see you cum—God, you feel so good—come on, baby—cum for me—“

He planted a hand against the wall and Laila had a brief flashback of shoulder length brown hair and the flicker of light on a metal arm. 

Steve reached his other hand down and found the sensitive nub between Laila’s legs and she arched her back at the contact. “Steve—don’t stop—“ 

And he didn’t—and soon, Laila felt her climax building. 

“Laila—I’m gonna—“ 

“—I have an iud—“

Steve leaned forward and pressed his lips to the column of Laila’s throat, eliciting a low moan from her as he thrust faster and faster into her. 

Her orgasm surprised her with its intensity and she arched her back into Steve, crying out, as he gasped and pounded into her. 

Abruptly, he raised himself off of her and pulled out, then pumped his erection a few times, letting out a hoarse cry as his emission splattered on Laila’s stomach. 

Laila lay on the bed, gasping. Steve fumbled for his shorts and Laila reached out a hand for them; he shook his head and wiped her down himself. When she was cleaned up, Steve threw his shorts into the hamper and collapsed onto the bed besides her. 

“...feel better?” He asked after a few seconds.

“...yeah, definitely…” Laila nodded. “You?”

“Oh yeah.”

 _Wow, this is awkward._ She rolled over into her side, searching for her phone. “What time—?” 

“When does Nora get back from school?” 

“Three-ish. Wait, she has that play date, so probably about five.” 

Steve rolled onto his side and pulled Laila back towards him. “I have a confession to make,” he whispered into her ear.

“Oh?” Laila rolled to put her head against his chest. “Steve Rogers, if you say you were a virgin until fifteen minutes ago, I’m gonna throw the bullshit flag.”

“What? No, no, oh my god, no—“ Both dissolved into laughter. “I was going to say that I have no idea what an IUD is.” 

Laila chuckled. “It’s birth control.” 

“So…?” 

“So I can’t get pregnant right now.” 

Steve chuckled and held Laila closer. His beard tickled the side of her neck and his breath graced over her ear. “Good to know there’s that option.”

“In any case, there’s still bacon in the kitchen.” Laila sat up and pulled on a shirt and her shorts. “I’m hungry again.” 

“I imagine you would be.” Steve fumbled for a towel. 

Laila smirked and left the room.

———

She stood in the kitchen, washing out the coffee pot. It was clean about five minutes ago but she had a lot on her mind. _What the hell did I just do?!_

It felt wrong. 

Like she was cheating on Bucky and wronging JB and Nora. 

But Bucky was dead, and JB was dead, as were about three point five billion other people. 

She shouldn’t feel as bad as she did, but she did feel bad. 

_There’s no going back._

Her thoughts were interrupted by a kind voice. 

“I know what you’re thinking, Laila.” 

She turned to face Steve. He was mercifully dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. “And what gives you that right, Steve?” 

“I...I've been thinking the same thing.” Despite his height, Steve looked for all the world like a chagrined child. “Bucky is—was my best friend. I know this feels strange to you; it does to me too. We’re both adults and…” 

“Steve,” Laila said softly. 

“I’ve adored you since the day we met—the day you pepper sprayed me, actually—but we were so...caught up in the war—“ _And our grief—_ “—that I didn’t say anything. I’ve wanted to, for the longest time.” Steve walked over to Laila and stood arms length away, but didn’t touch her. “Bucky was my best friend and I’ve lost him twice. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling—“

“It’s not a pissing contest over who had the most loss, Steve,” Laila said quietly.

“—but I can understand. We got...we got a little—okay, a lot—carried away this morning and I apologize.” Steve held up his hands. “I took advantage of you and I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry, I can’t apologize enough for it—“ 

“Steve—“

“I-if you don’t want to do anything else, I understand—“

“Steve.”

“If you want me to leave, I’ll go—“ 

“STEVE.” Laila closed the distance between them and wrapped her fist in his shirt, then pulled him down to kiss him full on the mouth. “You talk too damn much.” 

And he was totally, irrevocably gone. Steve picked her up and kissed her again as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He walked her to the living room to the couch and lay her down on it, towering over her with lust blown eyes.

He gently lifted her hips up and she removed her pants and underwear as he undid his jeans and dropped them, then knelt before her as he would a goddess. “I can smell you, oh my god—“ 

“Fucking hell, Steve—“ Laila gasped as he licked a warm stripe through her. 

“God you taste so good, Laila—“ As Steve licked and slurped up everything Laila had to offer at the moment, the ball of arousal in her core got tighter. She moaned as Steve steadied her hips and licked one final swipe across her dripping opening, then rose up between her legs. He sat on the couch beside her and pulled Laila on him so she was straddling his lap. 

Laila reached down to take his rock hard dick in hand and line him up with her, then sank down on him with a groan. Steve’s head fell back against the couch as Laila flicked her tongue across his throat. “Oh baby, yes—“ Gripping her hips, he moved them so Laila was grinding against him instead of bouncing. 

“...you feel s’good, Steve—“ Laila closed her eyes and leaned forward onto him; Steve hissed and thrust up into her. 

“You gonna cum on my cock? Your pussy feels so amazing—I wanna feel you cum on me—“ _Oh my GOD is this actually Steve Rogers, bastion of all things good and pure, whispering filthy things in my ear?!_

Laila decided she didn’t care; she dug her nails into his shoulders as he snaked a hand between them and began to rub her clit. “Holy shit—“ 

“Come on, baby, I need you to come—“ Steve ran his free hand up her back to the nape of her neck and gripped a fistful of her hair and yanked Laila’s head back to expose her throat. He bit down where her neck met her shoulder and Laila climaxed with the ferocity of a tiger fighting… _something_ that she couldn’t even think of because it felt so goddamn _good_. She gasped then cried out in ecstasy, riding him through her climax. 

She didn’t even have time to bask in the afterglow when Steve kissed her deeply and stood up. 

“Need you to cum again—“ He wrapped a strong arm around Lailas waist to keep her steady then turned and lay her on the couch, then hooked her legs over his shoulders. 

Laila gasped at the new angle, eyes rolling into the back of her head, then moaned as Steve moved against her, hitting all the spots in her that set her aflame. 

“—say my name, Laila—“ Steve hissed through gritted teeth as he put his hands on her waist to steady her and thrust into her as Laila grabbed the couch with one hand and circled her clit with two fingers in the other. 

She obliged him with a breathy moan of his name and that sent Steve over the edge; he spilled into her as she arched her back and Shouted out his name. 

And that’s when Friday made her electronic presence known. “Um, Captain Rogers…? Mr. Stark is waiting outside.”

———

Tony jiggled the knob to the apartment. “Locked...she’d better not be drinking again.” 

“She didn’t lock it, sir; I did.” Friday responded. “She’s not drinking, either; she hasn’t since early summer. Captain Rogers is in there with her.” 

“What is he DOING in there—?!” Tony wondered out loud. Natasha shrugged. 

“I’m not sure you want the answer to that, sir.” If it was possible for a computer to be mortified beyond belief, Friday was exactly that. 

“I’m calling him—“ Stark whipped out his phone—

—and heard a cry of ecstasy. 

And immediately realized what was going on. Stark turned to Natasha and raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, don’t look at me, I said she should go on a few dates with him—“ Nat held up her hands in supplication.

“Good on him, then—“ Stark mused. 

“Took him long enough,” Nat agreed.

———

“Mr. Stark said, and I quote, ‘if you two are done desecrating the couch, we had a meeting forty five minutes ago’.” Friday’s voice said through the intercom.

“Shit—“ Steve disengaged from Laila and pulled on his pants, secretly pleased to see his spend dripping out of Laila as she sat up in a panic to look for her clothes. “I, uh, I’ll see you for dinner?”

“Yeah, yeah—“ Laila pulled on her shirt. As she yanked up her underwear and pants, Steve bent down and kissed her softly on the cheek while buttoning his pants. 

Steve started towards the door, then turned at the last minute, strode towards Laila and gathered her in his arms. He lowered his mouth to hers in a needy kiss as the door opened to reveal Nat and Tony. 

“Well shit, Steve.”


	10. Amen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Someone's gotta hate  
>  It's never gonna change  
> Gets harder everyday  
> It's a hell of a place  
> To keep your heart from freezing  
> To keep yourself believing_
> 
> Halestorm, Amen

Bucky wandered back to the site with JB asleep in his arms. Gamora, Peter, Henry Pym, Janet and Hope Van Dyne, Wanda and Dr. Strange all sat in a circle, Dr Pym animatedly gesturing. “—quantum realm! If we could get a message to the outside world, we could go back!” 

_Walked in on the confusing end of this conversation…_ “What’s going on?” Bucky sat cross legged with JB dozing in his lap next to Peter, who excitedly broke down what had been said. 

He must have gotten most of it wrong because Dr. Pym interrupted with a snotty grunt. “When we all disintegrated or whatever, we were in the middle of groundbreaking scientific research.” 

Hope cut Dr Pym off, saving everyone from what could possibly have been a long winded and extremely technical description. “We know someone who can phase in and out of the quantum realm, so if we were to somehow send a message to someone in the real world, we could possibly…” 

“Wait a second—that might actually work!” Gamora stood up. “You’d have to hope they figure it out OR we can use you two—“ she pointed at Wanda and Dr Strange. “—to work some kind of magic!”

Strange hummed, musing. “Is it possible we could do a dream sequence from here?” 

“So wait—we could get a message out to whoever and they could get this guy out of wherever and then they could get us out of here?” 

Everyone turned to Peter, who sat in stunned silence of his own words. 

“A...a message?” Wanda questioned rhetorically. “I think I can do that.” 

And now everyone turned to Wanda. Strange blinked. “And how do you propose that? Our powers are sketchy at best.” 

Wanda flinched. “I...I know.” 

“So what are you proposing?” Gamora asked gently, casting a glare in Strange’s direction. 

“I, um, I was—I used to have an emotional connection with someone who had the mind stone—“ 

“The robot guy?” Bucky interjected. “Vision?”

Wanda nodded. “Vision was originally Jarvis and the Mind stone basically gave him a tangible form and a conscience.” 

“So what does that have to do with anything?” 

“No, I think she’s on to something—“ Strange snapped his fingers. “If her relationship with Vision is as deep as she says, the powers of the mind stone may have rubbed off on her psyche!” 

Wanda stood, excited that someone finally got it. “So I might be able to project a conscience through a dream!” 

“So basically… there IS a chance we could go back,” Bucky said softly. We could go home. I could see Laila and Nora again. 

“We need to know this will work, first—“

“It has to be someone besides you—“ Gamora broke in. “If you send yourself and it doesn’t work, you may lose your powers, if not your mind.” 

The circle dissolved into chattering about the potential of the plan. Bucky stared down at his sleeping son. 

_I’ll take that chance. Especially if it means I see my family again._

“Send me.” 

The excitement had caused everyone’s voices to grow louder, but Bucky’s soft volunteering caused an immediate silence. 

“Wait, what?” Peter was the first to speak. 

“You realize you could go insane, right?” Strange said about half a second after the boy spoke. 

“If it gets us home, I’ll take that chance.” Bucky stood up with JB in his arms. “How would it work?” 

Wanda looked up at Bucky. “I’d have to connect you up with someone or several someones you were close to in life and you’d have to relay that message—“ 

“Sounds easy enough. There’s only a handful of people I was especially close to.”

“Okay, so let’s try this out.” Wanda motioned for Bucky to sit and he did so, JB still asleep in his lap. “Now close your eyes and concentrate on the people on earth you were close to.”

Laila’s face, then Steve’s face, followed by Shuri’s face floated into Bucky’s vision. “Okay,” he said without opening his eyes. 

“Hold still.” Bucky couldn’t know it but Wanda places her hands a few centimeters from his temples and concentrated. 

He felt himself fading out.

———

**_STARK TOWER, FALL 2023_ **

_He stands in an ornate living area, one he is only vaguely familiar with. A girl about five sits and plays with a doll and a stuffed cat in the living room._

_“Nora! It’s time to get ready for school!”_

_Laila—! Is that my daughter? My angel?_

_And then SHE is there. She looks thinner, face harder and hair grayer but still the same grace and beauty he’d fallen for so long ago. She helps the girl pull on a windbreaker and ushers her towards the door._

_They walk through him out the door without even noticing._

———

Bucky jolted awake. JB awoke with a cry in his lap. The others gathered around him as JB began to wail and reach his arms out, demanding to be picked up. “Maaamamamamama!!” 

“What happened?!” Dr Pym asked. “Did you see someone?!”

Bucky nodded. “I did—I saw them—they’re okay!” He pulled his crying son up to his chest. “They’re okay—They’re—“ 

“Did you tell them?!” Strange demanded impatiently. 

“I couldn’t—they didn’t know I was there—“ Bucky turned to Wanda. “You gotta send me back!” 

Wanda nodded. “Close your eyes and get ready—“ 

JB’s sobs turned to sniffles and he clung to Bucky like a baby koala. Bucky held him close, rubbing his back as Wanda concentrated again. 

———  
**_STARK TOWER, SPRING 2025_**

_He stands in the same living room; by luck or design, he doesn’t know. Nobody is there this time._

_He walks into the bedrooms one by one._

_One bedroom holds a white bed bedecked in pink sheets and pillows, stuffed animals piled high on it. The bed is messy and the room unkempt, as if someone had left in a hurry._

_It is dark. He hears crying from the other bedroom. He turns and enters it to see HER holding his daughter. Laila is sitting on a bed by herself, in pajamas. Nora is sobbing into Laila’s chest. Laila is looking down at her daughter with maternal love and sympathy. Calmed, Nora stands and gives Laila a hug and Laila walks her through him to her room._

_He follows. Laila tucks Nora in and reads her a story; Nora falls asleep halfway through. Laila pecks a gentle kiss on the girl’s cheek and he plants a ghostly one on her forehead and pulls the blankets up tight, then leaves the room._

_He follows her back to the bedroom. She crawls into bed and lays down, falling asleep in moments._

_The door opens and he turns._

_Steve is there. He smiles at Laila and undresses—then crawls into bed with her, waking her._

_And Bucky cannot look away._

_He can’t look away as she rolls over towards him, wrapping her arms around him._

_He can’t look away as Steve kisses Laila with a passion and a grace he himself never had._

_He can’t look away as Laila’s clothes are removed and Steve sinks into her with a sigh._

_He can’t look away._

_He can’t._

_And as Laila gasps out Steve’s name and he spills into her with a groan, Bucky lets go._

———

Bucky shook his head, clearing it of the cobwebs. The other gathered around him. 

“Are you alright?” Dr Strange asked gently—a surprising change in tone. “You started crying.” 

And Bucky realized he had tears on his cheeks. “One more time.” 

And instead of Laila and Steve, Bucky concentrated on Shuri, unconsciously tightening his grip on JB.


	11. Cry Pretty

_She stands in a field, which is what she would have called it if it had grass._

_It is a uniformly smooth, orange, shiny surface. There are no buildings or shapes nearby, but there is a person. She approaches the figure and it turned to reveal—_

_“Bucky—?!”_

_Bucky turns to face her. There are tears running down his face. “Why, Laila?”_

_That stops her in her tracks. “Why what?”_

_“Why did you do it? Why did you and Rogers…”_

_The heartbreak on his face tears Laila’s heart apart and she realizes she knows exactly what he is talking about._

_But that means— “Wait, Bucky, you’re alive—?”_

_“I don’t know how but yes. We all are.”_

_“We—?”_

_“Oh I forgot, you haven’t met everyone else—but I’m glad for that or you’d have fucked them as well.”_

_The remark is like a knife to Laila’s heart. “Bucky—we thought—Steve saw you— I saw JB—Wait, is JB there??”_

_“Yes, he’s here. He’s safe. We’re trying to get back.”_

_“How—?”_

_“There’s someone in the quantum realm. He might know how.”_

_“Bucky, please...I’m sorry.” Laila holds out her hand to him as he turns away, a defeated look on his face and a slump to his shoulders. “We thought you were dead.”_

_Without a word, Bucky turns around and walks away from Laila as she falls to her knees with a loud sob._

Laila sat straight up in bed. “Steve—Steve, wake up—“ She reached over and put a hand on his broad shoulder. 

“...’m sorry, buck...died…” Steve shifted in his sleep, then sat straight up. “Ow!” 

“Steve, I barely touched you—“ 

“No, no, it wasn’t you— I had the weirdest dream—“ Steve shook the sleep from his head and Laila’s eyes widened. 

“Did you see him? Did you see Bucky?” Laila put her hands on his arms and Steve looked up at her. “They’re—they’re alive—“ 

And Laila felt a rush of joy that she hadn’t felt in so long. Then a realization hit her. “How did he know we’re sleeping together?”

Before Steve could respond, Nora came tearing into the room. “MOM MOM MOM I had the weirdest dream!” 

“Nora!” Laila held out her arms to her daughter. “This seems to be the night for weird dreams… tell me about yours.”

“‘Member you told me I had a brother but he died when we were babies?” Nora rushed out. “I had a dream where I was looking at someone who looked just like me but he was a BOY and he said ‘daddy’s coming’ and everything was orange and—“ 

Steve reached for his phone and began to dial a number. Halfway through dialing, the phone rang. “Clint—?!”

The other man’s muffled voice barely contained his excitement. “Steve, I saw them—! In a dream— they were right in front of me—!”

“Yeah, yeah I think we had the same one. No, uh huh, yeah— bring the kids and meet us at the compound—YES it’s kid friendly, Tony installed a playground and a game room—no, I haven’t talked to him yet—oh, he’s ringing in, hold on—“ 

Laila’s phone rang; it was Natasha. “Laila, what—“ 

“I don’t know what’s going on but meet us at that compound—“ 

An hour later, Laila and Steve had piled Nora, and a few days’ worth of clothes and toys in Steve’s truck and were driving to the Avengers compound. Nora had fallen asleep in her seat, clutching Princess Fluffy Kitty in one hand and a GI Joe in her other hand— “just in case”, she had insisted. With everything happening, Laila was grateful that Tony had insisted on buying a toy for JB as well on their birthday. 

“What if they’re actually alive?” Laila asked quietly. 

Steve was silent for a few moments. “Do you still love him?”

“Steve…”

“Answer me honestly, Laila.” 

“...yeah, yeah, I do.” Laila let out a shuddering sigh. 

Without taking his eyes off the road, Steve put his hand on Laila’s. “Just know that I want the absolute best for you and Nora.” He squeezed her hand then lifted it to kiss the back of it. “Whatever you choose, I will support you.” 

Laila said nothing, but lay her head on the window, tearing up. 

———

The group piled into the lab and Laila recognized Shuri, now an adult. “It’s good to see you, Shuri,” Steve held out his hand. 

The other woman merely nodded with barely contained anger and Laila got the feeling Shuri was upset at both of them. For what, Laila had no idea.

Truth be told, she was angry at herself. She didn’t know why but she just...hated herself. 

“Okay so I had this dream—“ Shuri began, cutting to the quick without any further ado. “Bucky came to me and told me about someone in the quantum realm and how we have to get him out. If we can get him out, we could possibly bring everyone home.” 

Laila flinched against Steve at Shuri’s hard stare when she mentioned Bucky’s name. In a voice too low for anyone else but Steve to hear, she whispered: “I thought they were dead…”

“I did, too.” Steve made no move to comfort Laila physically, for which she was grateful. It was awkward enough. 

Shuri was still speaking: “...Miss Starr could phase in and collect Mr Lang and more quantum energy, then come back and begin the process of pulling people out.” 

“Bucky was saying something like that in the dream I had,” Laila whispered to Steve. 

“He didn’t say anything to me about that, he just punched me.” Steve rubbed his bearded jaw as if he had been punched for real. 

“Did he say anything to you at all?” 

“He called me an asshole, then he punched me.” 

The group broke apart and went about their scientific business assignments. Laila and Steve were left standing together. Laila kept her hands to her side while Steve put his in his pockets. 

“What do we do now?” 

Steve shrugged. “I guess we stop. At least until we figure out what’s going on.” 

Laila nodded, a lump in her throat. “I...I think you’re right.”


	12. Black Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _This time, I'll get it right  
>  This time, I'll get it right  
> It's gonna be this time, I'll get it right  
> God, let it be this time I get it right_
> 
> Thrice, Black Honey

**AVENGERS COMPOUND, SUMMER 2025**

The doorbell woke Laila up from her slumber. 

It was a few weeks after everyone had gathered at the compound in upstate New York. She and Steve stayed in separate rooms and Laila just tried to avoid people. Shuri was angry with her for sleeping with Steve, it turned out. 

“You hurt him, Laila, you hurt him badly,” Shuri had said as calmly as she could. 

“Shuri, I thought they were dead—“ 

Shuri had whirled on her, fury in her eyes. “We have been fighting for seven years to get them back and you and Rogers are so into each other that you didn’t even CARE, Miss Evans.” 

Laila had stepped back. “I—“ 

“You. Didn’t. CARE. You didn’t even try. Did you want him gone?” 

Tears in her eyes, Laila had spun away and ran to her room, locking herself and Nora in, leaving only to get food. She became persona non grata in the lab and avoided it. She elected to remain in her room for the most part and did not accept visits from anyone—not even Steve. 

Clint was the only exception and stopped by occasionally with his kids to give her updates on the research. Today, he sat in the living room with Laila, watching their kids play. 

“So they brought Scott back from the quantum realm” was today’s update. “He’s loopy and disoriented but he and Starr managed to get enough quantum energy to get anyone with a chance to defeat Thanos out.” 

Laila hmm’d an assent. “That’s good news.” 

A few moments of awkward silence later: “God, what was I thinking, Clint?” She held her head in her hands. Usually their conversations stayed away from Laila’s personal life but after a couple of months of holding it in, it just came exploding out today. “It just... _happened_ …with Steve, we didn’t ever really discuss actually dating—“

“Do you still love Bucky?” Clint sipped from the water bottle he had found in the fridge. 

“I do.” 

“Do you love Steve?” 

That made Laila think. Did she love Steve? 

She did. 

But she couldn’t see herself with him. 

Noticing her pause, Clint gave a small smile. “I think the answer is obvious.” 

 

**AVENGERS COMPOUND, FALL 2025**

Laila came home from picking up Nora to all hell breaking loose. Clint ran past her, grabbing her wrist. “Come on, it’s happening—!” 

“What—?!” 

“Just—come on!” Releasing her wrist, Clint tore down the hallway. 

Whatever had happened to get Clint riled up like this was definitely important. Laila tore after him, Nora following the adults. 

Clint led her into the lab, where Steve, Drs Banner and Foster, Shuri and Lang were waiting. Everyone held up their hands, shouting at once: “DON’T MOVE!” 

Laila and Clint froze, Laila almost falling on her face. She momentarily saw the others gathered in the lab, including Steve, who nodded at her. He had shaved, she noted, electing to remain across the room from him. 

Not half a second after she stopped and not a millimeter from where her head had been before Clint yanked her back, the girl called Ava appeared. She wavered and blinked out again, then solidified several feet from Laila with someone in her arms. 

And there he was. 

He was Nora’s height and had the same dark, almost black hair that fell to the middle of his back and he was skinny but the kind of skinny that suggested strength to come. 

His eyes would forever haunt Laila. They were the same grey blue as his father’s and sister’s eyes, but not the same. 

They were the eyes of a child who had seen too much. 

“Mommy…?” The soft voice jarred her out of reverie as the boy looked up at Laila.

“James?” Laila’s voice was almost a whisper. She walked slowly, then trotted, then ran to her son, her only son. She fell to her knees and gathered him in her arms and sobbed out her relief that it _worked_ , it fucking _worked_ and James was home and he was safe and he was _okay_ —

“Mommy—“ James wrapped his wiry arms around her and buried his face into her check. 

“JB!” Nora’s shriek cut through the room and the girl tore through the crowd and launched herself at Laila and JB. 

Laila fell back with both of her children in her arms as Ava stood back, wavering. 

Ava quickly opened another pill bottle of quantum energy and phased out again. She returned with two people, one little more than a girl with red hair and hollow eyes and a boy with a suit that looked suspiciously like Stark’s handiwork. 

She looked weaker as she phased away again. 

When she returned, she had a grip on a tall man wearing a cape with a goatee and a second man with dark skin and a king’s bearing. 

On the next trip came a lighter skinned man with a robotic backpack. 

Clint began to pace, staring at the spot where Ava had been. Several seconds passed and Ava returned with a woman and a boy about JB’s age. 

And then, as Ava collapsed, Clint scooped up the woman and child in his arms and they fell to their knees, Clint crying with relief into the woman’s hair. 

That must be his wife, Laila decided. She wrung her hands as Ava staggered to her feet. 

“I can’t—I have to stop—I can’t—“ The girl collapsed again as Dr Foster ran to her. She sagged onto him bonelessly as he helped her to a couch. 

Scott pulled on his suit. “I’m going in—“ 

“Scott, you only have enough energy for one trip—“ Shuri warned. 

“Guess I’d better make the most of it, then.” With a wry smile towards her and an unnoticed glance towards Laila, Scott minimized himself. 

Seconds passed, then minutes. 

———

_“What the hell is going ON, Lang?! People are disappearing again!”_

_“Just give me your hands—we’ve got to go now!”_

_Four sets of hands later, they were gone._

———

“Bucky…?” 

He whipped his head around, a wild look in his eyes—

—that disappeared as soon as he saw Laila and the twins. “Laila—oh my god—“ He scooped up Laila in his arms, inhaling her scent and Laila just broke down in his arms. The twins wedged themselves into the hug as well; Bucky looked down at his children. “She’s so big—“ 

“It’s been seven years—“ Laila clutched Bucky to her, like a drowning woman holding a life ring.

_nothing matters now just her just them it doesn’t matter I’m back I’m here it fucking worked_

“Bucky…” Steve’s voice broke through the reunion and Bucky released Laila and his children—

—then whirled on Rogers and punched him in the nose. Rogers went down bleeding. Banner backed up, throwing up his hands, Tony jumped in between Bucky and Rogers holding out an armored and primed hand and the girl gestured, a red glow on her hands. Everyone else, including Lang and the woman in his arms, shrank back towards the wall. 

Bucky’s arm stilled, surrounded by the same shade as the glow around the girl’s hands. “You son of a BITCH—!” 

“Let him go, Wanda,” Steve said quietly, standing and wiping the blood off his face. 

Wanda did so with a dubious look, then immediately reinstated the glow around Bucky’s hands and waist when he charged at Rogers. 

“Whoa, easy there—“ Tony’s palm began to glow and he aimed at Bucky; the latter relented. “We...nobody knew. We thought that everyone that...went away were dead—” 

“And I swear on my life we haven’t done anything since then.” Rogers held his hands up in supplication. 

Bucky stopped struggling against Wanda’s magical restraints and she released him. He glared at Rogers until Laila interceded herself between the two men. “Bucky, please— let’s talk about this later— and not in front of the children—please—“ 

And without another word, Bucky turned on his heel and left the room. 

And at the moment, Lang found his voice. “What the hell just happened?!”


	13. Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _So if you're gonna break my heart, just break it  
>  And if you're gonna take your shot, then take it  
> Take it_
> 
> Brett Young, Mercy

**LATE SPRING 2026**

Steve Rogers stood watching Laila on the deck. He loved her dearly, almost as much as Peggy. 

Since Bucky and the others had come back sixish months ago, Laila had withdrawn from everyone save for Nora and JB and Steve could sense the conflict within her.

The team had...fallen apart. Natasha had all but disappeared, texting and calling once in a while to check in; Banner, the Langs, Dr Foster, Shuri and Stark and the Pyms went to work to set the universe to rights, rarely seen except for meals. Clint and his family had gone back to their farmhouse to live out the rest of their lives in peace. 

Bucky stayed in the area for the sake of Nora and JB, but he drifted in and out of the compound until he found a place two hours away.

Laila still loved him, Steve knew. Steve had done his damnedest to be there for her and Nora and now JB. He adored her and her children. 

And that’s why he was letting her go. To see her happy, he’d have to break her heart. 

For Laila, he would walk into the sun with a smile on his face.

Bucky would do the same and would rip out the heart of the sun to boot, then pull the moon down and keep it in the backyard as a playhouse for his children. He’d let the devil slice his throat and beg for more if it meant Laila and his children would live. 

Fighting back tears, Steve joined her on the balcony. “Hey.” 

“Hey.” She reached for her glass and Steve was glad to see it was Sprite and only Sprite in the glass. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Laila swallowed and nodded. 

“It’s been a crazy couple of years,” Steve chuckled quietly. 

“Yeah. How are you holding up?” 

“I’m good, I’m good.” He put his hand on the table, near hers. “We...we should talk.” 

“Yeah.” 

Steve looked at Laila with a heavy heart. Cut through the bullshit, cut to the chase. “I...I think we should see other people.” 

Laila sighed in resignation. “I was expecting this, Steve.”

“We’ve been drifting apart and…”

“I don’t even know what we are anymore, Steve.” Laila sniffled and Steve placed a platonic, comforting hand on hers. “I’m not sure what we were to begin with.”

“I’ll always be there for you, Laila. You and the kids and…and him. You should go to him.” 

“You’re a good man, Steve Rogers.” Laila stood and faced Steve, then leaned forward and kissed him lightly, chastely on the forehead. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for Nora and me.” 

She left Steve sitting on the balcony, the man wishing not for the first time that he could get drunk. 

**THREE DAYS LATER**

Steve found himself outside the door to Bucky’s apartment. The man had shut himself away from everyone except for his children, finally getting a place far away from the city in some podunk town two hours from New York City. 

And it was Steve’s fault. Steve had taken everything he had held dear: the love of his girl, his daughter, everything. 

He knocked on the door. “Bucky—“ 

“Fuck you, Rogers. You don’t get to call me that anymore.” 

“James, please, just… I just want to talk.” 

“Go talk to her, then.” 

“James Buchanan Barnes, I will kick this door open.” 

“Fuck off.” 

“I'm not leaving until we talk, James.” A few moments later, the door clicked and popped open. 

Steve walked in the room and ducked as a black metal fist aimed for his nose. “Shit—“ He kicked the door closed and dodged another punch, then stripped off his jacket. “Buck—James—“ 

“Get the fuck out of here, Rogers!” Bucky’s voice was hoarse; he swung his arm again and this time, Steve stood still and took the punch to the nose. He fell against the wall and stayed there as Bucky grabbed him by the collar of his shirt with his flesh hand and landed more blows to Steve’s face. Steve felt his nose all but explode and a contusion open up under his eye. 

The punches stopped and Steve looked at his friend through the blood. “You done?” 

“No!” Bucky punched Steve twice more then hauled the man to his feet, pulled him off the wall and slammed him back against it. “How many times?!”

“I don’t know—oof!” Steve was cut off by a punch to the gut. 

“HOW MANY?!” 

Steve shook his head. “A lot.” Bucky punched him several more times and Steve slid down the wall holding his midsection. 

“Fight back, dammit!” 

“No.” Bleeding from pretty much everywhere on his face, Steve held his hands up; Bucky punched him across the face again.

“FIGHT BACK, you asshole! If you love her, fight back!” Bucky’s voice ended in a sob. He reared his fist back again. 

“It’s because I love her that I’m not fighting back, James.” 

Bucky stopped and stared into Steve’s broken and bleeding face. 

“I adore her, James. She’s beautiful, smart, a wonderful mother and a fighter.” The words cut into Bucky’s soul and shattered it and he reared his fist back again. 

Steve’s next words began the mending process. “But she’s not in love with me.” 

Bucky released his grip on Steve’s collar. “What are you saying…”

“I left her, James.” Steve straightened up against the wall, not even bothering to check the flow of blood from his nose. “It’s never been me; it’s always been you.” 

Bucky dropped his fist, stunned into silence. 

Steve took the opportunity to walk over to his jacket and dig into his pocket. He produced a small black box. “I did some digging while you were gone. I found your sister, James. She got married but never had kids. She held out hope that you were alive—“ 

“You’re fucking with me.”

“She never stopped believing you’d come back. She held onto this for you.” Steve held out the box. 

Bucky accepted it with a tentative hand. He opened it to find a delicate silver band with a single heart shaped diamond. “Steve…when…”

“You’ll know when it’s the right time.” Steve smiled and threw on his jacket. He left Bucky, stunned beyond words, sitting on the bed and staring at the ring. 

As Steve walked out of the apartment, Natasha fell in step behind him. She had flown in the previous night to drop by for reasons unknown and had volunteered to take the trip out with Steve. “He did a number on you, didn’t he?” 

“Yup.” 

“Nose broken?” She started the car.

“Nah, just bruised.” _Unlike my heart._

“You self sacrificing son of a bitch.” Nat sighed. 

“I would rather see them both happy than both be miserable.” Steve put his hand on his face. “I won’t stop loving her, they both know that, but I can rest easy knowing he’s gonna take care of her and the kids.” 

“Just...take care of yourself too, Steve. You look like hell.” Nat gave him a kind smile and patted his hand and they continued to drive in silence.


	14. Yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Here's to my future  
>  Here's to my yesterday  
> Here's to change  
> Oh, here's to my yesterday  
> No tomorrow without a yesterday  
> Here's to my future  
> Goodbye to yesterday_
> 
> Imagine Dragons, Yesterday

Bucky lay in his bed in his apartment after Steve left, unable to fall asleep for the umpteenth night in a row staring at the ceiling. 

Thinking of her. 

Logically, he knew that they were right, that everyone who disappeared was thought dead. Emotionally, he was still hurt and disappointed. He knew that there was nobody else to blame but Thanos and his asinine delusions, but he still blamed himself for leaving. 

But if she chose him, he’d spend the rest of his life making up for years of disappearance. 

Even if she didn’t, he’d spend it making it up to Nora. Nora was currently sleeping over at his apartment with JB; both had refused to leave each other’s sides since he came back. 

He was so deep in his thoughts that he missed the knock on the door. 

“It’s me, Bucky. I’m here to pick up Nora.” 

The sound of Laila’s voice shot Bucky out of bed and running towards the door. 

The box Steve had left sat on the table; he dropped it into a drawer before answering. He opened it to find her upset and crying. “What happened?” 

“Steve and me...we broke up.” 

Rogers, you son of a bitch. “Oh, I’m sorry… when?” 

“A few days ago.” 

“Shit, Laila, I’m sorry.” Bucky pulled her into a hug. “Do you...do you want me to talk to him?” _Anything to see her happy, even if it’s not with me._ His mind reflected on what Steve had said—and the little box in his drawer.

“No.” The single syllable that fell from her mouth shocked him. “It’s...it’s for the best. We weren’t exactly together to begin with.”

Bucky just held her to his chest while she held onto him. “Do you want to get some ice cream then hijack Tony’s Netflix and watch cartoons?” 

“Yeah,” She sniffled into his chest. 

In the living room, Bucky turned on Netflix and entered Stark’s login; the first series that popped up was the How To Train Your Dragon series. Laila raided the freezer and found a tub of Rocky Road, then grabbed some spoons and bowls. 

Bucky fought the urge to put a comforting hand on her waist as she scooped ice cream into the bowls, then put the tub back in the freezer. 

They walked back to the couch and sat silently watching the series and eating ice cream, Laila on one end of the couch and Bucky on another. It was more of a daybed, really, considerably wider than a standard couch; Bucky had found it at a thrift store and picked it up for a song.

Bucky was the first to break the silence. “Is there a chance…?” For you and me…

“I...I need to get some things straight first.” Laila said without looking away from the screen. “I don’t want to confuse Nora and JB and I don’t want to hurt Steve any more than I already have.”

“Start slow?” 

“Yeah, as friends.” 

Bucky finished his ice cream. “Do friends cuddle on the couch after ice cream and watch cartoons?” 

Laila smirked, but she was indeed tired and not looking forward to the drive back. “Fully clothed but yes.” Bucky lay on the couch and held out his arms to Laila, who climbed up and lay her head on his broad chest. He wrapped his arms around her and they continued watching cartoons. 

“Daddy? I had a bad dream.” A small voice made them both look up. JB stood with his stuffed elephant and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “You weren’t in your room. Can I come out here with you?” 

“Yeah bud, come on. Couch is big enough,” Bucky said. Laila patted the side of the couch with her hand and JB curled up in Bucky’s right arm. After a few minutes of cartoons and Laila rubbing his back, he fell asleep again. 

As the episode drew to a close, Nora came out and silently curled up on Laila’s and Bucky’s legs with her blanket, her head on the back of Laila’s thigh. Bucky put his left hand on his daughter’s head. 

One by one, they fell back to sleep: JB had been first, then Nora, then Laila, then Bucky. 

And that’s how Natasha found them when she came the next morning..


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we are FINALLY done! Thank you for hanging in there! Please stay tuned for drabbles in another work!

****

EIGHT YEARS LATER

“Mom, hurry up, we’re going to be late!” Nora pounded on the bedroom door. 

“Yeah—I’m coming—“ Laila pulled on her dress. It was sleeveless and a pale blue with darker blue straps. She smoothed it out then ran a brush through her hair (more silver than dark auburn at this point) and pulled on her dark blue heels, then made one last check in the mirror. 

She reached into the drawer in her bureau and pulled out a set of army ID tags and put them on so they nestled between her breasts outside of the dress. 

Nora was impatiently waiting at the front door to the house, braiding her hair. She finished it with a silver hair tie, then hopped from foot to foot in silver flats and a pink baby doll dress. “MOOOOM!” 

Outside, Bucky stood nervously on the porch. He was joined by Steve, Natasha, JB and Nakia. “Fucking hell, Steve, I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Nervously, he petted Tripod’s head; the crotchety old three legged goat had literally tracked him down from Wakanda to New York several years after Thanos’ defeat. He absently scratches Tripod’s head; the crotchety three legged thing had traveled from Wakanda to New York to find him. 

Bucky had refused to help out at the front lines of the battle with the Titan, instead electing to help run logistics with Laila, Clint and T’Challa. 

“You’ve been in love with her forever, Bucky; don’t be a chickenshit now!” Natasha helped straighten the man’s collar on his button down shirt. Bucky refused to wear a tie and in the heat, nobody blamed him.

“Here she comes, Dad!” JB smoothed back his own shoulder length hair out of his eyes. “Give me the rings!” Bucky did and JB put the smaller one into the pocket of his suit pants and after Nora burst through the door, gave her the larger one. Both children and all the adults except for Steve hustled to their spots under the large tent. Nakia and T’Challa attended via web bot as Nakia was expecting the couple’s third child any day. 

Laila had been shocked to find the woman on her stoop one day; they hugged in a sobbing heap as they recounted the last nineteen years since they’d seen each other. 

It was a beautiful July day, not a cloud in the sky. It was hot, but mercifully a dry heat. Chairs were set up under the tent and people filed into the seats. Tony stood at the end of the carpet, under an arch covered in red and white roses. 

Laila walked through the door, holding a bouquet of roses and baby’s breath. Steve held out his arm and she accepted it and he escorted her to the tent.

“You look beautiful,” Steve said softly. 

“Thank you, Steve.” 

“I’m honored you chose me to walk you down the aisle.” 

“Well, you’re about as close to family as I can get.” Laila giggled. “Thank you for everything, Steve. You’re a sweetheart.” 

“Hey, anything for you guys.” 

Steve and Laila arrived at the end of the carpet where Tony stood; he left her and went to his spot in the pews besides Natasha, who laced her fingers into his.

“Have you threatened Bucky yet or should I do it?” Natasha whispered. 

“There’s no need to worry about that,” Steve chided at the same volume. “He’ll take care of her and she’ll take care of him.” 

“Fellow jerks, miscreants and miscellaneous assholes,” Tony intoned at the altar. “We are gathered here today to FINALLY witness this couple join in matrimony. Now I don’t know about you all but I had a bet going, but I lost it so now you’re going to have to deal with me officiating.”

“It would have been boring as hell if Sam had done it!” Steve joked from his spot. 

“Wait, you had a BET??” Laila laughed. “What was the bet about?!”

“Oh we had a bet going that Bucky here would ether faint or throw up or something embarrassing when he proposed and I bet he would piss himself—“ 

“Stark!” Bucky tried not to laugh and failed. 

“—buuuut he didn’t so here I am.” The party laughed. “And it’s HOT because it’s July and you two have a THING for summer or whatever so let’s get this done so we can move on to the good shit—“ 

“Ewww!” Nora playfully squealed from beside Laila and JB groaned. 

It had started—or restarted—innocently enough. 

After that night eight years ago, things were not as awkward between Laila and Bucky. Bucky respected Laila’s need for space and time and left her alone aside from raising their children. JB elected to live with Bucky, which stung Laila a bit but she understood: Laila had not been around for his preschool years, so it was to be expected. Bucky slowly 

Both children were encouraged to spend time with the other parent and each other. To make things a little easier and a lot less awkward, Laila moved out of Stark tower and into a townhouse walking distance away. Bucky followed suit, moving himself and JB from their apartment in the sticks to one about three doors down from Laila and Nora. 

Nora took up dance and JB began to participate in little league, playing shortstop. Both Laila and Bucky attended the children’s events together, as did the other Avengers.

They all attended family therapy: Bucky and Nora worked on their relationship and Laila and JB were able to bond as mother and son.

Laila was able to open her own practice.

Things stayed platonic and friendly for several years. Bucky began inviting Laila over for dinner after a hard day and dinners as a family became more frequent. 

Five months later, with the nervous and terrified air of a middle school boy asking out his first crush, he asked Laila on an actual date; things got more serious when JB and Nora entered seventh grade. 

They moved into Laila’s townhouse when JB and Nora were halfway through ninth grade.

About six months ago, Bucky proposed in the dining room of their townhouse with the help of Nora and JB and the ring Steve had given him. Steve provided the proverbial kick in the rear end that Bucky needed. 

It seemed so odd that their relationship started with children first, then moving in together, then marriage, but they made it work.

“You may kiss each other—like you haven’t already…” 

It had been discovered that Bucky’s time in the Soul Stone had all but cancelled out the super soldier serum; while he still retained some of his strength and knowledge, he would no longer have the extended life span that Steve would have.

He leaned in to kiss Laila, wrapping his arms around her as she pulled him to her. 

And finally, _finally,_ James Buchanan Barnes and Laila Evans were at peace.


End file.
